Recently I commented to a client that a newspaper article about her business contained misleading information and inaccuracies. Potential customers were going to be disappointed when they learned that certain features described in the article didn't really exist. "It's not my problem," said the client, "I didn't write the article." "But didn't you approve it?" I asked. She shrugged. "The reporter read it to me over the phone, but I couldn't catch everything," was her dismissive—and irresponsible—answer.

One flimsy denial does not an unreliable person make, but sometimes it seems like ducking responsibility has become epidemic.

For years, people have denigrated small talk as phony and boring. However, my research shows otherwise. I surveyed 100 great conversationalists and found two stunning results.