Top Fortune 500 Companies Are Listening To Women Because It’s Good For Business
 
 
Just like the Fortune 500 companies, your company should be looking for ways to do better financially. Wouldn’t it be a kick if that turned out to be by promoting more women into upper management? Wouldn’t it be great if your stockholders thought this would also be good for their pockets? Well, the kicker is . . . it’s true! Now you need to get the word out. And to do that, you need proof. Catalyst, a New York-based research organization has provided the proof.
 
Catalyst found that Fortune 500 companies with the highest representation of women in their senior management teams had a 35 percent higher Return on Equity—a key measure of profitability—and a 34 percent higher Total Return to Shareholders—capital gains plus dividends—than companies with the lowest representation of women at the senior level.
 
So, promoting women up, way up, increases the bottom line. I hope you’re asking yourself, “Aren’t women being promoted?” For those of you, the resounding answer is “No.” Women are half our workforce and only 16%—that’s way less than half—of our upper management. There are many subtle obstacles that cause this situation. The Good News is these obstacles can avoided by smart women preparing for them and by smart companies taking an active role in removing them.
 
What could be the reasons for a financial upside to promoting women? Catalyst is careful not to try to guess at what causes these numbers. But I’m not shy, I’ll give you my thoughts. I believe women bring a different way of looking at things that a group of men may have overlooked. I’m not saying the men’s viewpoint is wrong, but asking them to consider a different direction, a different product, is valuable.
 
Also having more female role models will attract the best-qualified women to your company. Heather Arnet of the Post Gazette says, “Demonstrating a true commitment to paying women fair wages and providing opportunities for advancement within your corporate and board structure will enable your company to compete for the most qualified workers in the market.” And now more women than men are graduating from our universities: 6 out 10 college graduates are now women. We can’t ignore this skilled talent pool.
 
And also of financial importance is stemming the turnover of your female employees. As Mike Cook of Deloitte discovered (as reported in the Harvard Business Review), women were not leaving to start families, they were leaving because they saw men receiving the best new clients and men being promoted more rapidly. These practices have been curbed, and guess what, the women are staying. 
 
It’s a novel turn of events that we now need to say, “Don’t promote women because it’s the right thing to do. Promote women because it’s good for the bottom line.”
 
 
Tip:  Get the word out. Refer your CEO to Deloitte, IBM, or Johnson & Johnson to see how they’re removing obstacles to promoting women and gaining the financial upper hand. If a woman would like to take some time off to start a family, these companies now offer a 1 to 5 year sabbatical (without pay) where they keep you informed and connected to the company. And yes, men can use this time off (for any reason) as well. If you’re running your own business, as many women today are, ask a man for his viewpoint—you may be surprised. Of course, if you’re the boss, you get to make the final decision.
 
 
Further Reading:
 
Podcast (always less than 10 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Take That Interview Or Promotion Review
—How To Improve Your Interviewing Skills
 
Podcast (always less than 10 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Are Women As Competitive As Men? —Is Competition Unfeminine?

Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Businesses That Make A Difference For Mommies Women Want Jobs That Give Them Choices

Website, WomensMedia, by Catalyst, What Keeps Women from Reaching the Top?
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Tags: career, business, women, promotions, Catalyst, family, leave

Don’t Let This Stereotype Stick To You
 
 
You can’t deny it, in a business environment, as you scan a room of new faces, you notice which are men and which are women. You can’t avoid this. Studies show that we have to decide which gender we’re looking at before we can do anything more. In the fraction of a second before logic sets in, your brain makes use of stereotypes stored there to make things easier for you. Sounds like a good thing? Not if that stereotype whispers to your brain, “She’s probably not important.” as you single out a woman. This certainly is an obstacle for women, but now that you know it, you can prepare ahead of time to deflect that stereotype as others scope you out and assess your worth from a first impression.
 
First off on that first impression, stand comfortably tall. Make eye contact and then smile. Be the first to extend your hand to shake hands, because men are sometimes confused as to whether we want to shake hands. Face the person directly—don’t angle away from them, this indicates a lack of power. Of course, you know to give a firm handshake and not one of those fingertip handshakes. You’re not a wimp—you’re important.
 
Now, what would you like to accomplish businesswise with this introduction? Are you proud of the position you currently have? Would you like to aim for something slightly higher and that’s why you’ve taken on an extra project? Here’s an example:
 
Hi, I’m Karen Johnston, Human Resources Specialist at G.E. I’m also interested in marketing so I’ve taken on a project in that area. And you are. . . ?
 
Would you like something in a different area? Well, work that into your introduction—ahead of time, while you’re still practicing. Here’s another example:
 
Hi, I’m Emily Harrison, Public Relations Assistant at HTC. I’ve been interested in marketing for quite some time, so I’ve been thinking of running a business in my off hours. Tell me about yourself.
 
You need to give the other person the information that, “Yes, you are an important person.” Think of it as the stripes on a military Captain’s uniform. Men want to know how many stripes you have! You also should plant the seed of what you’re aiming for. You never know who you’re going to run into who knows someone else who can help you. The important thing is not to ASK a person to do something for you. Let them think of what it might be and let them decide they want to help you. It’s a much better feeling for them and is not weighted with any sense of obligation to you.
 
 
Tip:  Now I’m optimistic that women are at the tipping point. Soon—hopefully, that’s not in geologic terms—when men meet women in a business setting, they won’t let the She’s Probably Not Important stereotype pop up. Meanwhile, we have to work with this obstacle and one more double standard that I’m sad to say I must tell you:  First Impressions Are Based On Achievement For Men—Appearance For Women. Lousy, itsn’t it? Well, along with your new introduction, use this information to your advantage. Be a little better groomed and dressed, and have a little better posture than the men and you’ll be off to a headstart. So, you know what that means for casual Fridays!
 
 
Further Reading:
 
Podcast (always less than 10 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Powerful Body Language For Working Women —Women, Change Your Body Language, Change Your Message
 
Podcast (always less than 10 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Learn How To Say “No” Like You Mean It —Get Rid Of The “Shoulds” And Say “No” Without Guilt!

Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, The Stereotyping Myth —Power or No Power Creates Stereotypes, Not Nature

Website, WomensMedia, by JoAnn Hines, First Impressions:  How to Make the Most of the First 30 Seconds
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Tags: career, business, women, introduction, stereotype, gender, differences

Use Confident Language That Says, “I Can Do It!”
 
 
The “impostor syndrome” is more prevalent among women than men. You know, it’s that nagging feeling that any minute people will discover that you’re not up to a task. Relax, most of us feel that way when we accept a challenge—even a small one.
 
If you’re a woman, you know how often this self-doubt occupies your mind. It occupies a man’s mind too, but to a lesser extent. And, here’s the important fact, men don’t voice this OUT LOUD. You know what a man says when faced with self-doubt:  Of course, I can do it!
 
Now, the first tip for you is to stop vocalizing your self-doubt. The second tip is to substitute strong words for your weak vocabulary whenever you feel doubt creeping up.
 
Start substituting these phrases:
 
I know…
I’m convinced that…
I’m certain…
 
 
And stop uttering these phrases:
 
I’m not sure, but…
I feel…
I may be wrong, but…
 
 
Start bringing these phrases into the conversation—when they fit, of course:
 
a proven winner
take advantage of a unique opportunity
tell me what you need and I’ll take care of it
minimum risk and opens up possibilities
I’ll evaluate it
in my experience, response has been good
I’ll give it top priority
 
 
Tip: 
 
 Let’s say you want to talk to your boss with full confidence—and no self-doubt showing. Words are not the only concern. Your body language must be strong as well. Here’s the scenario. Knock on your boss’ door. Enter with strength—not timidly—and make eye contact. Take a minute or two before being seated—there’s power is having your boss look up to you. Sit up straight. Only use your hands to make strong gestures—especially those with an upturned palm. Don’t let your hands fiddle with your hair or jewelry or pen. You know you can do a good job of this. Give it a try!
 
Further Reading:
 
Podcast (always less than 10 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Communicate Without Losing Your Authority —Assertive, Not Aggressive, Works Best For Women

Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Stereotypes, Not Differences, Are Holding Women Back —Are Mars-Venus Stereotypes Barriers To Women’s Advancement?

Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Leadership Using Collaboration —Collaboration For Good Leadership

Website, WomensMedia, by Kimberly Wiefling, Unmasking the Impostor Syndrome —Do you ever feel like a fraud in your professional realm?
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Tags: business, career, women, confidence, communication, self-improvement, strong, impostor

Successful Women Use Power Differently Than Men
 
 
I believe women see power differently from the way men do. Women see power in terms of influence, rather than rank. In agreement is Ann Fudge, Chairman and CEO of Young & Rubicam Brands, one of the world’s leading marketing communications groups, and a member of the Harvard Board of Overseers. She questions, “Do we need to follow the boys’ scorecard?” She believes her power is based on an openness and ability to connect with people. She strives to use her power to influence others to contribute to the success of the company.
 
Successful companies today are going into the relationship mode. They’re focused on customer relations, and joint ventures with partners and suppliers. The winner-take-all form of negotiations does not sit well with companies you might want to partner with next year. It’s all about relationships now—and women are comfortable forming relationships.
 
Janice Gjertsen of Digital City New York handles many contract negotiations with media companies. “I see the same patterns over and over again: Men are oriented toward power, toward making fast decisions in a black-or-white mode. Women are more skilled at relationships. They see shades of gray and explore issues from different angles. It’s instinctual. Men come to the negotiating table in full battle armor. I don’t do that. I believe it goes against a woman’s nature to be aggressive, rude, or abrupt. I never know how to react to these kinds of women, and neither do men.”

A recent survey by Simmons School of Management showed that 80 percent of high-level women are comfortable with power and what they can accomplish with it. In all, 95 percent described themselves as action and results oriented. 92 percent said they formed critical relationships at work, and 90 percent said they built networks or allies. And for those of you who may be wondering, the survey also showed that women with or without children pursue power at the same rate.

Sara Levinson is president of NFL Properties, Inc. (yes, that NFL is the National Football League). She asked her all-male management team if her form of leadership was different from a man’s. They said her emphasis on communication and solicitation of ideas and opinions was distinctly female. And they added that she was a good leader. So, even in the NFL, a female style of leadership can be powerful.
 
Tip:
 
Don’t try to copy the boys on this one. You’ll be most effective being true to your nature. If you’re comfortable gathering ideas and looking at different perspectives, this can be your route to power. Don’t think you have to exert firm command-and-control to be a successful leader. There is one caveat here:  Once you’ve gathered ideas and made your decision, let everyone know that the team is now proceeding in this direction.
 
 
Further Reading: 
 
Podcast (always less than 10 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Leadership For Women —How To Make The Jump From Manager To Leader or read it here.
 
Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Communicate Without Losing Your Authority —Assertive, Not Aggressive, Works Best For Women
 
Podcast (always less than 10 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Powerful Body Language For Working Women  —men, Change Your Body Language, Change Your Message or read it here.
 
Website, WomensMedia, Michelle LaBrosse, Negotiate Your Way to Success
 
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Tags: power, leadership, women, business, career

You Have To Resort To Trickery 

There are a few things that all women seem to notice and all men don’t see at all. Alright, alright, I know I can’t say “all.” But it’s pretty nearly “all” whenever I speak to a large group of men and women and I ask this question: “Raise your hand if you’ve been in a meeting when a woman made a suggestion and no one seemed to notice?” Pretty nearly every woman will raise her hand and sadly nod her head—meaning it was her—and the men will be dumbfounded that this is the situation. Honestly women, we can’t blame the men, because they aren’t even aware of this behavior. 

Sociologists tell us this behavior begins when boys are 3 to 4 years old and are playing with other boys. They’re focused on competing with boys: Faster-Than-You, Stronger-Than-You, Louder-Than-You! They’re not focused on girls, and what the girls might be saying. Sounds like the alpha-male conditioning sets in pretty early, doesn’t it? 

Well, I’m of the belief that in the workplace it doesn’t play out well for you to claim, “ Not fair. Not fair. Make him listen!” You can do that if you don’t mind being labeled The Trouble-Maker Who Should Be Avoided. I believe your best bet is to recognize that this happens frequently and that there are precautions you can take. 

Look around your company and notice which men seem sympathetic to the obstacles working women have to dodge. Talk to one or more of them about being careful to notice when a woman’s comment is not responded to. Tell them how much their response will be appreciated. And when they pick up the ball, make sure it doesn’t go unnoticed! 

Now, here’s the Tip of the Week. 

Tip: 

Plan ahead before you go into a meeting. Know what your key point will be. When you’re ready to speak, address your idea to one of the highest-level men in the room—you know that alpha-male thing again. Say, “Jim, I’ve been analyzing the X situation, and can see that we should do Y.” Trust me, when you say his name, you’ll get Jim’s full attention. I call this the Mommy-Caught-Me syndrome. You don’t have to say, “What do you think?” He’ll go ahead and comment. And anyway, if you say, “What do you think?” men interpret this to mean you don’t know if it’s a good idea and consequently, you need his help. Of course, we know that’s not what we mean. But part of successfully playing the game is knowing what others are thinking. It sure is a good thing we have that feminine advantage: Women’s Intuition! 

Now, get out there and do the name-calling trick. See how well it works! 

Further Reading: 

Podcast (always less than 10 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, More Money? Do You Want To Ask For A Raise? —How To Ask For A Raise Even Though It’s Not The Perfect Time (It never is!) 

Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Communicate Without Losing Your Authority —Assertive, Not Aggressive, Works Best For Women 

Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Work-Life Balance—Creating Boundaries For You To Follow 

Website, WomensMedia, by Debra Meyerson , Gender in Business: When Women Are Not Heard 

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If A Company Is Not Female-Friendly, It’s Probably Suffering A Loss
 
 
Women are starting businesses at twice the rate of men. Could that be true? Yep, it is. Why are they doing this? Is it the glass ceiling? What kind of businesses? Are they getting financing? What are the Good News Changes? Let’s discuss it.
 
According to a report by the Small Business Administration’s Office of Advocacy, women-owned firms employ 19.1 million workers and generate $2.5 trillion in sales. Up until now, the majority of women-owned businesses have stayed fairly small and are in the services and retail sector. However, some of the fastest-growing are in industries considered nontraditional for women: Construction, agriculture, manufacturing, communication, and public utilities.
 
Here’s why women are stampeding in the entrepreneurial direction:  flexible scheduling, independence, satisfying work, family-friendly tendencies, and a sure way to avoid the glass ceiling. Speaking of the glass ceiling, the U.S. General Accounting Office reported that in seven of 10 key industries, the “earnings gap” between full-time women and men managers widened between 1995 and 2000. As the U.S. entered the 21st century, women composed 46.5 percent of the workforce but only 12 percent of all corporate officers. Let’s shine a spotlight on that glass ceiling—it’s not insignificant!

Sharon Hadary of the Center for Women’s Business Research states that now the focus is getting women to grow and expand their companies, an area where female entrepreneurs still lag behind men. That’s attributed to many reasons — from lack of access to venture capital, to a desire by some women business owners to stay small. Less than 3% of women-owned businesses have $1 million or more in revenue, according to the center’s research. By comparison, more than twice that percentage of male-owned businesses take in $1 million or more.

Banker Maria Coyne told Business Week, “There has been a big debate about why the majority of women-owned companies stay small. I find that female-owned companies fall into three camps. First, the lifestyle businesses that consciously stay small and are perfectly happy with that. Then there’s the group that wants to grow large and will do whatever they can to achieve that. Then there’s a middle group that would like to grow their businesses but don’t know how and are afraid to ask for help.” Men rush to banks for financing quicker than women. Women are more likely to bootstrap their businesses. There’s nothing wrong with that, but sometimes revenue can skyrocket with the infusion of capital. Here’s a Good News Change—banks, looking at the number of female business owners, are suddenly eager to allocate money in their direction. Take a look at the forward-thinking programs at Wells Fargo, KeyCorp and Merrill Lynch.
 
Here’s the Tip of the Week.
 
Tip: 
 
When you’re butting your head against the glass ceiling, consider some of the female-friendly companies, and also spend some time evaluating becoming an entrepreneur. For information on which companies have a steady record of being female-friendly take a look at Working Mother’s 100 Best Companies. If you’re thinking of starting or expanding a business, I suggest the following: Invest in good advice from reliable sources; open a business account at a local bank; register a domain name; make sure your computer equipment is sufficient; create a written business plan; and find a compatible networking group.
 
My best wishes to you—whichever path you choose to follow!
 
Further Reading:
 
Podcast (always less than 10 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Look For An Oprah Business —Women Want A Job They Feel Good About—A Business With Good Intentions
 
Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Promoting Women Increases The Bottom Line— Fortune 500 Companies Recognize A Good Thing!

Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Women Need To Ask! —Men Ask More, Men Get More

Website, WomensMedia, by Robert Bowen, 6 Easy Steps to Make a Change in Your Career
Let’s face it, change is scary. Here are 6 easy steps to move you in your desired direction starting today.

Website, Springboard Enterprises
This nonprofit out of Washington, D.C., is dedicated to accelerating women’s access to the equity markets. The group produces programs that educate, showcase and support entrepreneurs as they seek equity capital and grow their companies. 
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Tags: women, business, owners, entrepreneurs, female-friendly, glass, ceiling

Women’s Intuition Is A Valuable Tool   

 

In talking about emotions and women’s intuition I think it’s interesting to quote a man, Jim Holt of the New York Times who says, “We all know from everyday experience that the sexes do not think exactly alike and that they tend to be good at doing different things – say, reading maps (men) versus reading faces (women). Some social scientists insist that such differences are entirely due to culture. But over the last couple of decades, proponents of evolutionary psychology have been piecing together a case that the mind is naturally sexed. Our male and female forebears faced different evolutionary pressures in their struggle to survive and reproduce on the Pleistocene grasslands, and as a result they have different mental aptitudes and even differently organized brains.” Jim, I agree that there are some differences and that it’s a “good thing.”
 
I admire the work of Professor Judy Rosner, author of America’s Competitive Secret: Women Managers. Among the general male/female differences she includes:
 
Women are sensitive to subliminal cues;
men pay little attention to subliminal cues.
 
Research has shown that women can more quickly decipher facial expression, moods, and voice tones. My advice to women is, “Don’t let this intuitive talent go to waste. This is a valuable tool you can use to your advantage in business. Remember that it’s next to impossible to put your intuitive feelings into words, so don’t let others push you into that time-consuming canyon. My Tip of the Week will help you with your explanation to others.
 
In this blog, I’m always on the lookout for additional reading to put in your development path. If you’re interested in intuition, you must read Malcolm Gladwell’s book Blink:  The Power of Thinking Without Thinking. I’m sure all of you have had that “gut feeling” that something was wrong. If you read his book, you’ll feel confident that you don’t have to explain your intuition verbally, in fact, it’s usually not possible to do so. Gladwell lays out a fascinating example of the use of intuition. The Getty Museum was considering buying a multi-million dollar ancient Greek statue, but wanted to make sure it wasn’t a fake. They took more than a year bringing in experts to analyze it. Just before the sale was finalized, Evelyn Harrison, a Greek antiquities expert, was in town to visit the museum. The curator asked her to take a look at the statue. “He just swished a cloth off the top of it and said, ‘Well, it isn’t ours yet, but it will be in a couple of weeks.’ And I said, ‘I’m sorry to hear that.’” Evelyn couldn’t put into words what exactly triggered her reaction. She could only say she had an instinctive sense that something was wrong. This type of instinctive feeling happens immediately—within the first two seconds. Alarmed, the curator had the statue shipped to Greece so a symposium of experts could weigh in on her opinion. They agreed—the statue turned out to be a very good fake.
 
Your intuition is handled by the part of your brain called the adaptive unconscious. It’s what has helped us survive as a species. You often don’t have time to analyze a situation. Your adaptive unconscious can be very efficient at sizing up danger, seizing new opportunities, and initializing action, if you let it do its job. Now here’s the Tip of the Week.
 
 
Tip:  I’m hopeful that you’ll be following your women’s intuition more often. So here’s how to present it to others:  “Based on my experience, I know we should do X. Time is important and we could miss our opportunity.” Jack Welch, former CEO of G.E., often said, “Go with your gut!” but I think my presentation is more palatable from a woman. Yes, yes, it’s not fair. You can try the gut version if you think your company has reached gender neutrality.Now go out there and follow your intuition!
 
 
Further Reading:
 
Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Female Behavior Traits —In Other Words, What Is Comfortable? 

Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Powerful Body Language For Working Women —Women, Change Your Body Language, Change Your Message 

Podcast (always less than 10 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Episode 1 - Listen To This First —See Why The Time Is Right For Women In Business Website, WomensMedia, Judy B. Rosner, Women on Corporate Boards Make Good Business Sense  _________________________________________________________________  

Tags: women’s, emotions, intuition, business, blog, career, working, women

Assertive, Not Aggressive, Works Best For Women
 
 
Women know how important communication is—and sometimes just knowing that causes a problem. Let’s say you’re anxious about talking with someone under your supervision. He, or she, is not doing the job as you’d like. You need to point out the problems, but you’re worried about coming on too strong—too aggressive, and you’re worried about the employee’s reaction. In a effort to minimize repercussions, we often add a few sentences here . . . and a few sentences there . . . and pretty soon, the message is lost.
 
We all realize men can get away with aggressive statements more often than women. We’re sensitive to that “cultural inequity.” We can live with that. We don’t want to be abrasive, but we do want to be assertive and have our message understood and followed—without bloodshed.
 
The advice is don’t try to soften your statement by getting too wordy. Here’s what you should do. Take a second to think of the main message as if this were a newspaper article: There’s a Problem With the Marketing Report. Start your remarks with that message. Next, you give the 1^st supporting point to your message, then the 2^nd, and if you need more, the 3^rd point.
 
If you’re the type of woman who wants to start this type of conversation with a pleasant compliment, then the Tip of the Week is a must for you!
 
 
Tip:
 
So, are you the type of woman who wants to start this type of problem conversation with a pleasant compliment? If so, you probably feel comfortable starting with, “I’m happy with the way you do X.”  Then, you plan to go into, “But I have a problem with Y.”
 
This is the sandwich mode and you have to be careful to judge the audience in advance. There’s a gender divide here. You can use this with most women, and with only those most sensitive men. When you use it with most men, they hear the “happy with you” and then “blah, blah, blah.” Nah, it’s not exactly that bad, but I couldn’t resist! When you get wordy with a man, he’s on alert until he hears “happy” and then he relaxes and may not get the point that this is an important communication about a problem concerning him. If you’ve made the mistake of going to the sandwich mode and see his eyes start to glaze over, you’d better scramble to bring the audience back to the problem.
 
You’ll need to end the conversation with a reiteration of the problem, what needs to be done to correct it, and when this is to be completed and revisited. And yes, you can then smile, and maybe shake hands.
 
Now go out there and tailor your authority to your audience!
 
 
Further Reading:
 
Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Communicating With Authority, Or Deferring To Men? —Why Are Smart Women Deferring To Men?
 
Podcast (always less than 10 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Episode 1 - Listen To This First —See Why The Time Is Right For Women In Business
 
Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Powerful Communication For Women —How To Change “I Speak Like A Girl” to “I Know What I’m Talking About”
 
Website, WomensMedia, by Hilary M. Lips, Women and Leadership: The Delicate Balancing Act
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Tags: working, women, business, career, leadership, authority

Don’t Hurt His Masculinity
 
 
I’ve told you before, women don’t have it easy—it’s not a level playing field out there at work. Men do have it much easier, but that’s no reason to ignore their difficulties! In fact, ignoring their difficulties can cause a world of trouble for you!
 
Little boys have been raised to believe that to be masculine is to act strong, take charge, tell others what to do, and push and shove when necessary to make a point.
 
A grown man still harbors his little boy upbringing and goes into his push and shove routine when challenged at work. Women have to understand that this is a type of game between the “boys.” It’s mysterious to us to see men shouting at each other in a meeting and then going out for a drink—laughing—after work. Note to women: We’d be better off to adopt this attitude instead of the lengthy, moping “You aren’t my friend anymore” behavior.
 
I’ve been in the working world long enough to know that when a woman challenges a man she should be careful how she does this, especially if it’s being observed by others. If you take a blatant stab at his masculinity, the other guys will say, or think, “Oooh, that girl  got you!”  The man will become defensive and may try to shoot you down.
 
In Seducing the Boys Club, Nina DiSesa gives this advice:  “For me, men have always been higher-maintenance than women. I know that men believe just the opposite, but they are wrong. Men are work. For instance, it takes more time to make an impression with men than with women. It would be a lot faster if I didn’t worry about bruising their masculine pride, but I always worry about that. And I encourage other women to worry about it as well. There is nothing more dangerous than a wounded bull, especially if you are the one who made him bleed.”
 
What’s a woman to do? I don’t advocate sitting silently in a meeting when a man is spouting bad information. Way too many women are currently sitting silently in meetings as it is. I want you to speak up—with care. My tip of the week deals with this topic.
 
 
Tip:
Let’s suppose Jim has taken over the meeting and you don’t agree with his message. It doesn’t agree with the studies you’ve seen and will lead your company in the wrong direction. If you want to be safe, you could say, “Jim, you probably haven’t had time to see the marketing report I just read. It gives statistics showing we’d increase our revenue using a different method. Do you want me to get that to you?” The ball is now in his court. He could decide to say “No” and defy the marketing department, or he could say “Yes” and ask you to get the report to him. It’s your chance to say, “Sure, I’ll get that to you …right away. Meanwhile I’ll summarize the information for everyone in this meeting. My take on the results show X. And I think the best way to proceed using this information is to do Y. I’ll put together an email on all this and get it to everyone later today.”  Enough said. You didn’t wound the bull—and he didn’t gore you!
 
It’s time for men and women to work together—peacefully and equally. Now get out there and make that happen!
 
 
Further Reading:
 
Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, When You Want Men To Listen To You—You Have To Resort To Trickery

Podcast (always less than 10 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Episode 1 - Listen To This First —See Why The Time Is Right For Women In Business
 
Podcast (always less than 10 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Gender Communication: Nature Or Nurture?  —Why Do We Have Mars-Venus Communication, And Why Is Mars More Powerful?
 
Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Promoting Women Increases The Bottom Line— Fortune 500 Companies Recognize A Good Thing!
 
Website, WomensMedia, by Hilary M. Lips, Women and Leadership: The Delicate Balancing Act
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Tags: working, women, business, career, gender, differences, DiSesa

Collaboration For Good Leadership
 
 
I’ve been receiving requests for more information on leadership styles for women. Of course, the same leadership style will work no matter if you’re a man or a woman, but the questions have been phrased to indicate many women are not comfortable with the autocratic style of leadership, where the leader dominates the team with a one-sided approach to reach an objective.
 
If you’re not comfortable with that style, there are other choices. Collaboration is one that many women tend toward—what I mean is they can be really, really good at it!
 
There’s an academic argument that managing and leading are two separate realms, but I’m not going to get into that. I have a good reason: I’m committed to helping more women make it into the top 2 tiers of major corporations (only 15% of those lofty seats are women-occupied). Women are doing well with management tasks, as research shows (see below), and occupy half of those positions—up to the mid-management level.
 
What I propose is that each woman adds leadership to her management job—she might as well get ready for that top job.
 
A leader has to be committed to what the company is attempting to do—nah, you can’t fake it. If you’re committed, make sure others get that message. It will help you motivate the people you’re leading—not merely managing. Talk to your people openly about your vision for the future and their part in it. Let them know they’ll be recognized for their work. Also, be honest about risks. You want them to try, and if they fail, you understand that this happens in business, and they won’t be penalized.
 
Now, my tip for the week deals with how a woman should use collaboration.
 
 
Tip:
 
When you collaborate you ask for ideas from your team members, letting them know that more creativity and a better direction can arise this way. Let them know you’re all in this together sharing responsibility and recognition. When team members feel their ideas are being listened to, they are more motivated to making the project a success.
 
Now, the problem for a woman has to be headed off at the beginning of the collaboration . . . because, unfortunately, many people still believe in the stereotype of a weak, helpless woman—perhaps a woman who doesn’t have any ideas of her own. A woman who needs help.
 
At the beginning of the session, let everyone know that you can see at least one possible direction, and if you did not care about their ideas, you would proceed immediately. Tell them a better direction, a better product, and better communication will result if everyone contributes their ideas and talks about how to proceed. But let them know it’s up to you to make the final decision.
 
As you solicit comments from team members, be mindful to directly ask for suggestions from people who are quiet. Sometimes strong comments silence others. Tell people you expect that not everyone will agree. Also, let people know they don’t have to stick to their first thoughts—mind changing is allowed and even encouraged, especially when novel approaches are brought up.
 
At the end of a collaboration session, you as the leader should round up the meeting with a statement such as the following script.
 
“I appreciate all of your comments and I appreciate how easily you allowed different viewpoints to be heard. This is how business can successfully move forward. Now, the final decision is up to me. I will let everyone know by X date. At that time I expect that each of you will support the decision, no matter if your idea was not picked up. Does each of you feel you can fully support the decision at that time—no grumbling allowed? Do you? Thank you. I anticipate moving forward as a true working team.”
 
 
Further Reading:
 
Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Proof That Women Make Great Managers —Studies Show Areas Where Women Excel
 
Podcast (always less than 10 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Episode 1 - Listen To This First —See Why The Time Is Right For Women In Business
 
 
Website, WomensMedia, by Hilary M. Lips, Women and Leadership: The Delicate Balancing Act
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Tags: leadership, management, collaboration, working, women, business, career