Success Strategies for Working Women
Nancy Clark

Nancy Clark is CEO of WomensMedia and is a frequent speaker on issues involving gender in the workplace.

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Gender Communication with Authority And Care

November 10th, 2009

A Business Woman Can Be Careful Without Losing Her Authority

(Or listen to it here.)

It always makes me wonder why she’s deferring to him by not speaking up.  I’m sure every woman has noticed this here and there at work:  A smart woman deferring to a man who is not entirely correct—and she knows it—and he doesn’t—but he’s speaking with confidence and a loud voice. Is it perhaps because he has a higher rank in the company? Is it because he sounds so confident that she may be questioning her knowledge of the matter? We do that so easily.  Or, is it because it may upset the applecart when a woman corrects a man in public? This last explanation is often the culprit and with good reason—beware women. You should be speaking up, but it’s still necessary to walk a tightrope while doing this.  Maybe in a few years they’ll remove the rope, but you must proceed with caution today.  I f you’re in a business meeting, the best advice I can give you is to allow the man to save face while you present the correct information—remember, if you’re 80% sure, that’s good enough. You can say something like, “That’s what I thought until I studied the new report out of Stanford.  It’s showing a 30% decline in X. Would you like me to forward the information?”

If it’s a situation where it doesn’t make you look foolish, you can let it go and talk to him in private.  He’ll appreciate the gesture when you say, “I didn’t want to mention it earlier, but the new information shows X.  I’ll get it to you.”  I certainly don’t want to promote deferring to men, but poor guys, they take the heat from other men when corrected by a woman in public.  As Arnold Schwarzenegger would say, “Don’t be a Girlie Man!”

There is one situation that really irks me! It’s when a group of intelligent, voluptuous women hear a man spout a stupid idea and then enlist the entire group to work on it. Yep, you guessed it, I’m talking about Donald Trump’s The Apprentice! And congratulations should be given to the Donald—he called them on it.  He wanted to know why women who had been promoting their own viable projects would defer to an unworkable idea put forth by a man.  And then they worked on it!  I’ve given that situation some thought.  At first, I thought those aren’t regular women. They’ve selected candidates who have lots of telegenic qualities plus lots of cleavage.  OK, they aren’t exactly regular women, but unfortunately they act like regular women when they defer to men.  I say “unfortunately” because that may have played out well in the past at home or with the nomad clan, but now women are at work, and that’s different.

Now, here’s my Women in Business Tip of the Week.

Tip: This week, I want you to pay particular attention to instances where you’re starting to backslide into your old Don’t Tell Him He’s Wrong tactic. Think quickly.  Find a way to get your information out with the least damage.  But get your information out! Is there someone in your company who frequently spouts nonsense? Talk with other women about the Speaking Up While Saving Face technique.  And make a pact that you’ll back each other up when this occurs.  I’m not talking Revolution here, merely what’s good for business—and good for women—well, that’s the same thing.

Further Reading for Women in Business:
Podcast (always less than 10 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Communicate Without Losing Your Authority —Assertive, Not Aggressive, Works Best For Women or read it here.

Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Be Confident, Cover Your Self-DoubtUse Confident Language That Says, “I Can Do It!” or listen to it here.

Website, WomensMedia,  by Hilary M. Lips, Radford University, Women and Leadership: The Delicate Balancing Act

Time Management Using “Do It Now”

October 9th, 2009

Better Time Management Uses A “Do It Now” Technique         (Listen to it here.)

Here’s a relevant quote by Susan L. Taylor:

We don’t have an eternity to realize our dreams,
only the time we are here.

Well, that’s a sobering thought, but that’s the reason you’re here today, to learn how to manage the time you’ve got. Recently, I talked about putting your To-Do List together. You know, with the priorities and all.

Now, here’s a little change I want to add. For better time management, I want you to add a Do It Now category to that list. Put it right at the top. This relates to a task that takes very little time. Would you like me to put a number to it? Okay. If a task will take less than 5 minutes, you’re going to do it now!

There’s one condition to this. Can you guess? I want you to quickly add this to your To Do List—at the top under the heading Do It Now. I know this takes a teeny bit of time, but there’s a reason. When you finish your Do It Now tasks, you can bask in your success. You can pat yourself on the back and tell yourself, “I am no longer a procrastinator!” Now there’s some good self-talk!

After this becomes a habit, you can drop writing down each task. Research shows that it takes approximately 21 days of doing something before it becomes ingrained as a habit. So, give it the 3-week challenge. If the self-talk congratulations are a welcome new positive attitude habit, then by all means, keep doing it. With a positive attitude, I think gold and silver will start landing on your doorstep. But we’re not concerned about that—we’re concerned about time.

My Women in Business Tip of the Week gives you an added time bonus. Now here it is.

Women in Business Tip of the Week:

I can give you a hint of the time bonus with just one word: Delegate. If you want specific information on delegation, go to the WomensMedia.com site and do a search for “delegation.” Your push from me this week is to carefully look over your To Do List and find one—merely one—task that you can delegate to someone else. It doesn’t even have to be someone in your own business. You could delegate a task to an outside vendor or service. If there’s cost involved, think about how much your time is worth to you. And remember the quote—you don’t have an eternity.

All you have to do is find one task. Pull out that To Do List, and find it and you’ll be on the road to better time management!

Be sure to visit our site, www.WomensMedia.com to get Expert Advice for Women in Business.

Further Reading:

Website, WomensMedia, by Sally Allen, Organizing: Time Management Learn 3 Must-Do Principles to Effective Time Management

Podcast (always about 5 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, A Busy Working Woman Needs To Prioritize Her To-Do List —Take These 5 Steps For A To-Do List That Keeps Your Priorities In Mind or read it here.

Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Organizing Your Desk For Time Management Results —Spending Time On Organization Is Time Well Spent! or listen to it here.

Website, WomensMedia, by Ramona Creel, 10 Ways to Delegate More Effectively

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Overcome Procrastination with the Reverse Calendar Technique

September 3rd, 2009

Reverse Scheduling Works For Women In Business

(Listen to it here.)

Here’s one of my favorite quotes. It’s by Marsha Evans.

You can have unbelievable intelligence, you can have connections, you can have opportunities fall out of the sky. But in the end, hard work is the true, enduring characteristic of successful people.

Do you need help overcoming procrastination? Are you late with business projects—are you late meeting arrival times? Here’s what works for a lot of people. It’s called the Reverse Calendar method. I first started using this technique when I needed to drive somewhere and arrive on time. I’ll admit, I was arriving late for lots of things, things you wouldn’t want to be late for. My kids were even getting annoyed. When it reached the critical stage, I was forced to plan ahead: What time do I need to be at my presentation? What do I need to pick up on the way? What do I need to drop off on the way? And what if I hit a little traffic?

You know how it goes for driving. You pick your arrival time at your destination and add a little time cushion in case traffic isn’t cooperating. And here’s a tip, if you’re expecting a stressful day, do what I’ve started doing (now that I’m a reformed procrastinator), I add another time cushion that will relieve stress because when I arrive early, I can read something fun or something informative before going in. I take that along with me as an incentive. It’s my non-food reward. Hmmm, I bet the candy advertisers don’t want to hear that, but I guess the book-selling advertisers will support my thinking.

Well, we’ve taken care of driving, but we need to talk about those business projects that are occupying the worry section of your brain.

For a business project, you need to break it down into Discreet Steps, the smaller the better. Sometimes it’s a little step that fouls up your schedule, such as: Contact James about X.

Write down the date when the project needs to be completed. And now give yourself a cushion of a day or two, and write the date of this deadline as your Optimal Project Deadline. Won’t you feel good when you meet this deadline?

For each small step, write down how long it will take you to complete. Obviously, it’s called the reverse calendar method because you work backwards from this deadline, writing on your calendar when you’ll do each step that you’ve outlined. Scheduling the exact amount of time at the exact time of day, will do a lot toward overcoming procrastination—that is, if you obey your calendar. But, you’re going to do that, because you’re no longer a procrastinator! Ah, positive thinking feels good—Wayne Dyer was right.

My Women in Business Tip of the Week gives you an added bonus for your project. Now here it is.

Women in Business Tip of the Week:

Pick a project you need to tackle. Write down the name of this project to ensure that it’s the only one you’re going to think about right now. Give it a jazzy name, just for fun, or for more positive thinking! Follow the Reverse Calendar procedure, pick your Optimal Project Deadline, break the project into Discreet Steps, and schedule them (in pencil at this point) at exact days and times on your calendar.

Now here’s where I’m adding something that I believe will make your project turn out even better—a project bonus. I’m advising you to add an extra step to your list. You decide where to put this extra step—where it’ll make the most difference in whether your project is good or whether it’s great. For some projects, this will be at the beginning where time for creative thinking could pay off. For example, that creative thinking could lead you to run a quick survey to bolster your information. For other projects, this will be at the end where having another set of eyeballs doing the proofreading is important.

Add that bonus in. Doesn’t it feel good? You have a head start, and you know you have work to do. Now, get out there and do it!

Be sure to visit our site, www.WomensMedia.com to get Expert Advice for Women in Business.

Further Reading:

Website, WomensMedia, by Sally Allen, Get Organized: The Paper Crisis

Podcast (always about 5 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, How To Manage Your Project —Organize A Project With Five Easy Steps or read it here.

Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, How To Get Motivated —5 Steps For Motivation or listen to it here.

Website, WomensMedia, by Victoria Simon and Holly Pedersen, 8 Tips for Fearless Communication in the Workplace

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Women In Business Working Well Without A Catfight

August 6th, 2009

Stop The Catfights

(Listen to it here.)

This article is one of my favorites on WomensMediaCheat Sheet for Working Well with Men by Gail Evans who was Executive V.P. of CNN. Gail gives 29 tips for women in business in her article and there’s not a single one that I’d edit out!

If I had to pick my favorite piece of business advice for women—well I will—it’s this one:

Your co-workers are not your family. You don’t pick them and it doesn’t matter who you like or dislike. It may be unpleasant, but you simply have to work with them. You have to be more strategic, listen more, and protect yourself. These are good skills to hone.

Hmmm, it’s not easy, is it? But you know it’s good advice and especially pertinent for women in the business world.

I’ve received emails asking for advice on handling difficult women who work with you—particularly the type of women who smile at you and then sabotage you behind your back. My Women in Business Tip of the Week gives you that advice, without resulting in a catfight.

Now here it is.

Women in Business Tip of the Week:

Each of us has to go through the Ignore Her Stage and then the Fight Back Stage before we find that they usually don’t pan out well. They can result in an all out catfight. It’s surprising what sometimes works. I call it Let’s Get To Know You Better Stage. Pretend that she’s done nothing to harm you. Talk to her about her interests, all the while trying to find a few things you like. It’s not necessary to make her your best friend, but maybe you can place her in a neutral camp where she’s not attacking you and you aren’t fending off the slings and arrows. And the last step—for your own benefit—is to forgive her prior behavior by chalking it up to low self-esteem, jealousy, or loneliness.

I tried this technique once, just for the heck of it, and now I’m a believer. Give it try too and let us know at www.WomensMedia.com how this worked for you.

Be sure to visit our site, www.WomensMedia.com to get Expert Advice for Women in Business.

Further Reading:

Website, WomensMedia, by Gail Evans, Cheat Sheet for Working Well with Men

Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Working With Women Without Catfighting.

Podcast (always about 5 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, What’s With This Catfighting? or read it here.

Website, WomensMedia, by Kimberly Wiefling, Unmasking the Impostor Syndrome.

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Women in Business: How To Give Criticism — Sandwich Style Is Not Best!

July 3rd, 2009

A Good Leader Learns How To Give Criticism To Her Team    

(Listen to it here.)

  

Beware of some advice. Many people will tell you to deliver a criticism in Sandwich Style. That’s the: Start with a compliment, give the criticism, end with a compliment. I say, “Wait a minute, that may not be a great idea for many women—especially for a woman who’s dreading delivering a criticism.” She may be so uncomfortable with the situation that she lays on the top slice—the beginning positive comment, so heavy it’s like a piece of bread overslathered with mayo—it grabs your attention.

 

Then, while the employee should be concentrating on the reason for the encounter—a problem—she’s marveling about how nice she feels about what her boss just said. The boss next delivers the criticism and then pads the ending slice with extra mayo as she exits the employee out of the office, satisfied that the problem has been handled.

 

I think you can see what happens next. The boss feels good that she padded on the nice stuff. The employee feels good about the encounter and assumes her boss must not be upset about that little thing in the middle.

 

My advice is a form of Sandwich Style, but I call it the Open-Face Sandwich Style of Delivering Criticism.

 

Call the employee into your office. If you first setup an appointment to meet, it adds weight to the meeting. Take a few seconds to pause, and don’t do any of those reassuring big smiles. You know, the fake smiles that come upon us when we’re nervous or uncomfortable. We especially throw the guys off with those because they don’t do all that smiling and nodding as often as we do.

 

Let the employee know what the problem is. Tell her who it’s affecting or how it’s affecting the company. At this point, you may choose to discuss possible solutions with her or instruct her to think it over and come back to you later with her ideas.

 

Because it will make everyone feel a little better, end with a compliment—a sincere compliment about something she’s doing right. Flip it over, and that’s the bottom piece of bread in the Open-Face Sandwich Style of Delivering Criticism.

 

I’ve received emails asking for more scripts that you can follow when you need a backup. My Women in Business Tip of the Week gives you that.

 

Now here it is.

 

 

Women in Business Tip of the Week:

 

Start in immediately along the lines of, “I called you in today because there’s a problem we need to discuss and we need to agree on a solution.”

 

Tell her what the problem is. Tell her the ramifications of the problem. Is it affecting other people? Is it affecting business? Is it affecting the company’s image?

 

Next, say, “What solution do you propose? Is there another possible solution as well?”

 

Pick the one that sounds best to you.

 

Then, “When will you start working on this solution? How long will it take you to correct the situation and eliminate this problem?”

 

Finish up with, “You professionally handled the X project right on schedule, so I anticipate that you’ll handle this equally well. Please come back in one week to give me an update on this problem. Thank you.”

 

 

Be sure to visit our site, www.WomensMedia.com to get Expert Advice for Women in Business.

 

 

Further Reading:

 

Website, WomensMedia, by Pat Heim with Susan Golant, Making the Most of Criticism and Praise

 

Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Be Confident, Cover Your Self-DoubtUse Confident Language That Says, “I Can Do It!”or listen to it here.

 

Podcast (always about 5 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Smart Women Interrupt When They Need To —Don’t Wait! Be A Smart Woman And  Interrupt.or read it here.

 

 

Website, WomensMedia, by Lynea Corson Hadley, Not Reaching Your Goals Fast Enough?One of these blocks may be holding you back.

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You Need A Stop-Doing List Along With Your To-Do List

May 18th, 2009

A Good Leader Conveys This Idea To Her Employees           

(Listen to it here.)
 
 
 
Today’s blog post was prompted by an article written by Guy Kawasaki, called In Pursuit of Elegance. He talks about how many of the best products are simple and compelling. Too often businesses add all the bells and whistles they can think of. Their idea is that more is better. Look at Google, look at the iPhone, and look at a Sudoku puzzle. Clean, simple, and completely compelling . . . to most people. I’ll go for Google, and the iPhone, but I’ll appreciate and avoid a Sudoku puzzle. Now that I think about it, I’ll substitute Twitter (see NancyFClark) for Sudoku any time. Twitter fits the simple and compelling model as well, if you’re following the right people. Clean, simple, compelling—that’s elegance.
 
When Fortune named Apple “America’s Most Admired Company,” Steve Jobs explained that the company’s “stop-doing” strategy was paramount in their success. As a CEO, or as a department manager, you’re responsible for determining which items on the list should be focused on, and which items need to be removed. In other words, what items or tasks need to be placed on your Stop-Doing List? You want your people to focus on the most important tasks—so you have to identify the less important tasks.
 
You know that 80-20 Rule? The one that says that 80% of business comes from 20% of your customers. Or it can also be applied as 80% of your company’s problems come from 20% of your customers (or products). If you’re like me, you’re balking at the exact numbers. Well, they could vary according to what you’re measuring, but it’s funny that numbers close to these pop up in many, many cases. So, let’s assume we can say 80-20.  
 
My Women in Business Tip of the Week is going to get you started on a newly focused agenda.
 
Women in Business Tip of the Week
 
Write up your To-Do List, including goals and objectives. Next, put these in priority order.  Count the number of items. What’s 20% of this number? That’s the number of items you should be attempting to remove from the list and place on your new Stop-Doing List. Do you think you can do that? Nah, me neither, but I’m going to give it a try. I hope you do too.
 
Adhering to this process (it’s called the Pareto Principle—another good thing from Italy besides pasta) will allow your employees to focus more time and more mental manpower on the things that matter most. That’s what a “most admired manager” does.
 
Do this and then let Fortune know you’re one of those “most admired managers” in one of the “most admired businesses.”
 
 
Be sure to visit our site, www.WomensMedia.com to get Expert Advice for Working Women.
 
 
Further Reading:
 
Website, WomensMedia, by Natalie R. Manor, Leadership & Confidence
Many Women Are Competent, but Lack Confidence

 
Blog
, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, A Busy Working Woman Needs To Prioritize Her To-Do List  —Take These 5 Steps For A To-Do List That Keeps Your Priorities In Mind or listen to it here.
 
Podcast (always about 5 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Organizing Your Desk For Time Management Results  —Spending Time On Organization Is Time Well Spent! or read it here.
 
Blog
, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Be A Woman Who Makes As Much As A Man —Money Facts You Should Know About The Gender Pay Gap or listen to it here.
 
Blog
, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, For Success, Bring More Happiness To Work —Increasing Your Happiness Level Is Easier Than You Think! or listen to it here.
 
Website, WomensMedia, by Sam Horn, What to Say in Difficult Situations.
 
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Equal Pay? Women Aren’t There Yet.

April 29th, 2009

 

Gender Pay Gap Is Real . . . Unfortunately           

(Listen to it here.)
 
 
Here are some of the questions about the gender pay gap that we’ve been receiving at our website, www.WomensMedia.com.
 
1.  If A Woman Chooses Full-Time Employment, Does She Earn The Same As A Man?
 
Nope, not even close. Women who hold full-time, year-round jobs earn $0.78 for every $1 a man earns—in the same occupation and same level—meaning, the same job. This doesn’t include part-time workers, so that can’t be an explanation for what’s happening.
 
2.  Do Women Earn Less Because They Work Less?
 
Nope. A look at the earnings of women and men who work 40 hours or more per week reveals that the wage gap may actually widen as the number of hours worked increases. Women working 41 to 44 hours per week earn 84.6% of what men working similar hours earn; women working more than 60 hours per week earn only 78.3% of what men in the same time category earn (Source: Bureau of Labor Statistics).
 
Furthermore, women may work longer to receive the promotions that provide access to higher pay. For example, among school principals, women have an average of 3 years longer as teachers than men do (Source: National Center for Education Statistics). So it’s hard to argue that women’s lower earnings are simply a result of women putting in fewer hours per week, or even fewer years than men.


3.  If A Woman Earns A College Degree, Does She Earn The Same As A Man With The Same Degree?
 
Nope. These stats are equally sad. One year after graduation, female graduates working full time earn only 80% as much as male graduates earn. Ten years after graduation, women fall farther behind, earning only 69% as much. There’s a colorful chart by Professor Lips on WomensMedia showing what you can expect to earn with your education. In addition, a professional degree will only bring you 60% of what it brings a man, unless you perfect my Tip of the Day.
 
In case you’re wondering if there’s any variation between states, the answer is “Yes.” And the advice is:  Go to school in Vermont where your degree will bring you 87% of what a man gets upon graduation. Don’t go to school in Louisiana where your degree brings you 65% of what a man gets. If the governor of Louisiana decided to give free tuition, room, and board to women, it wouldn’t make up for the difference!  (Source: American Association of University Women)
 
 
4.  If A Woman Negotiates Her Salary, Will She Earn The Same As A Man?
 
Nope again. When women negotiate their compensation, they don’t get the same results as men. When men negotiate an entry salary or a raise, they achieve on average a 4.3% increase from the initial figure. By contrast, when women negotiate, they realize only 2.7%. I’d rather have the 4.3%, wouldn’t you? My Tip of the Week deals with this. There’s something you can do.
 
 
5.  If A Woman Moves Into A Typically Male Occupation, Does She Earn The Same As A Man?
Nope. There’s a gender-related wage gap in virtually every occupational category (Source: Bureau of Labor Statistics). Social psychologists have shown that as more women move into a male field, the perceived value of the occupation is lowered and the average wage begins sliding. To this I say, “Nurses, teachers, secretaries, get out there and invite more men into your fields and raise the perceived value.” 

Or, I guess you could wait until society drops the Gender Handicap. I’m confident this will be happening in the near future. In the UK, it may be happening in the very near future as a new law goes into effect requiring companies to publish their pay by gender for every job. Let’s salute their Minister of Equality, Harriet Harman, who says it’s not fair that women are paid 20 per cent less than men when they made up half the workforce. “It’s pay discrimination and it should not be left to the individual woman to explain – it should be down to the employer to explain and to justify if pay is unequal,” she said.
 
My Women in Business Tip of the Week deals with negotiating your entry salary or a raise. 
Here it is.
 
Women in Business Tip of the Week
Do your research first. Find out what the pay scale is for a particular job. You could look on the Internet, Salary.com or the Salary Center on Monster.com. Since men are making 20% more than women, don’t aim for the bottom of a pay range—that’s what women are probably making. You could also ask men indirectly, for example, “How much do you think the X position pays? And what skills do you think would garner higher pay?”
 
Now, when you go in to negotiate your pay, you’ll get less than a man, according to the studies. So, you need to negotiate harder than a man. Don’t expect to ask for an amount once. Assume you have to repeat the amount at least 3 times, adding another benefit to the company each time. You want to raise the thought in the manager’s mind that, “I expected her to give in. This is a woman who’s not backing down, and my department could sure use her skills.” 
 
Make sure you’re the woman who won’t back down. Get busy and start practicing now!
 
 
Be sure to visit our site, www.WomensMedia.com to get Expert Advice for Working Women.
 
 
Further Reading:
 
Website, WomensMedia, by Professor Hilary M. Lips, The Gender Wage Gap: Debunking the Rationalizations
 
Blog
, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Gender Pay Gap:  80 Cents For Each Dollar A Man Makes Is Not Okay! Lots Of People Think Women’s Pay Is Creeping Up To Men’s—Lots Of People Are Wrong or listen to it here.
 
Podcast (always about 5 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Is Negotiation Different For Women? or read it here.
 
Blog
, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Be A Woman Who Makes As Much As A Man —Money Facts You Should Know About The Gender Pay Gap or listen to it here.
 
Blog
, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Salary Negotiation: How To Ask For A Raise or listen to it here.
 
Website, WomensMedia, by Kolb, Williams, and Frohlinger, Confronting the Gender Gap in Wages.
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Let’s follow the UK lead. In fact we could take it one step further—President Obama (BTW thank you for the Ledbetter bill)—by requiring companies to publish how long it takes to promote employees in each position—by gender. I believe the Slow-To-Promote-Women situation is often subconscious and not deliberate discrimination.

This happens over and over again at promotion time. It doesn’t matter if the boss is a man or a woman—we’ve all been doing this. The boss decides Jane doesn’t seem to be completely confident about handling a bigger job, and Jim is ready to take on whatever is necessary. Both Jane and Jim are equally talented and equally fearful about their abilities, but the woman shows or verbalizes her worries. She’s perceived as Not-Quite-Ready to be promoted. 

Measuring the rate of promotion by gender—President Obama—will quickly show companies, and individual managers, where improvement is needed. Oh, I love these quick fixes.

 

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How To Get Motivated

March 30th, 2009

5 Steps For Motivation                     (Listen to it here.)
 
 
1.  Imagine you’re on your deathbed – an unpleasant enough visual to catch your attention, as it should. It makes you think about the shortness of life and the importance of doing things that are important to you. If you knew you might die soon, say next year, what things would you want to quickly begin accomplishing? Think about various facets of your life and pinpoint the 3 most important items for each.
 
2.  Drop pessimism. I especially want to talk to you if you look at whatever’s unsatisfactory in your life, and say, “That’s the way it is. Things are bad. I’m just being realistic.” If you don’t drop the pessimism, you’re squandering chances of success. Admit it, people with an optimistic outlook go farther. Others want to be around them—others want to help them. They have a headstart. Hey, it’s an attitude. You can change an attitude. Studies have shown that when people are told to intentionally smile, even if they don’t feel like it, they start feeling happier. And, people react to them in a more pleasant manner. It’s a vicious cycle (in a good way): You force yourself to smile, you feel better, others smile back at you, they feel better, they turn and smile at someone else—or do someone a favor, who then passes the favor on. That’s a vicious cycle we should strive for. Adopt a new attitude—your new mantra is “I’m an optimist at heart.”  Now and then bad things happen, even to optimists. Reframe these things. They are now Challenges—and you’re up to the Challenge. Right? Right!
 
 
3.  Take up acting. You know, act as if . Who is the role model for the life you want to lead? How does she talk, dress, carry herself? Aim high. Assume this is a class project—and you expect to get an A+ for your efforts. It’s interesting, the thoughts that go through your mind before you take an action register strongly in your subconscious. In fact, scientists say your subconscious can’t distinguish between imagined actions and real actions. This explains how an athlete can improve her game by adding visualization sessions. So, visualize yourself acting in a new manner. Start strengthening those new, improved brain circuits!
 
4.  Meet new people.  It’s stimulating to meet new people. Find out what they’re interested in—what they like to do. Tell them a little about yourself, but don’t hog the conversation. So often people are thinking about the next comment they want to make and consequently steer the conversation away from where the other person was headed. My Tip of the Week deals with this topic.
 
I’m frequently surprised that the impression I have of someone before I get to know them is way off base. Now, I try to give them a chance to change that first impression. I’m conditioning myself to not label people as Probably-An-Artist or Not-A-Serious-Business-Person before I give them a speaking chance. Who knows, they could be both! (I am.)
 
 
5.  Take baby steps at first. Sometimes we avoid going after a goal because it seems like such a big deal to undertake. This is one of the reasons we often procrastinate, saying, “I’m not quite ready to do that. I’m sure I will be soon.”  What if you decided to start right now, but with the intention to only do a teeny, tiny bit—only take a baby step? It might be to do an Internet search. This might give you the incentive to take one more baby step—maybe make a phone call. Those are easily doable, right? Each day that you find yourself leaning toward procrastination, take one more baby step. 
 
 
 
My Tip of the Week deals with Meeting New People.
Here it is.
 
Tip of the Week:
 
I advise women in business to set a goal of meeting new people who could help them in business. You set the number. For instance, you could decide you want to meet 1 new person each month who could accelerate your business. If it’s a client you’re thinking about, perhaps 1 a week would be your goal.
 
There’s one more goal you could consider. How about setting your sites on someone who is living the business life you aspire to? You’d be surprised how often a high-level person is willing to impart advice to someone who admires them. Try it! 
 
 
Be sure to visit our site, www.WomensMedia.com to get Expert Advice for Working Women.
 
 
Further Reading:
 
Website, WomensMedia, by Caroline Jalango, How To Motivate Yourself Toward A Worthwhile Goal
 
Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Time Management & Procrastination —Tackling Procrastination Is A Time Management Tool That Works!or listen to it here.
 
Podcast (always about 5 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Organizing Your Desk For Time Management Results  —Spending Time On Organization Is Time Well Spent!
 
Website, WomensMedia, by Lynea Corson-Hadley, Design Your Own Business Or Job
If you feel stuck in a job or career that doesn’t suit you, if you’re not happy and excited about going to work each day, maybe it’s time to make a change — because it doesn’t have to be that way.
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For Success, Bring More Happiness To Work

March 3rd, 2009

Increasing Your Happiness Level Is Easier Than You Think!
 
 
If you’ve suspected that happy people get better work evaluations and higher pay, then you’re right. A 15-year study in Australia showed this is true. Happiness has wide ranging effects. According to Professor Martin Seligman (author of Authentic Happiness), “…it turns out that adults and children who are put into a good mood select higher goals, perform better, and persist longer on a variety of laboratory tasks, such as solving anagrams.” Ah, that means happiness improves motivation as well. More Good News.
 
Did you ever expect to hear the words “scientific” and “happiness” in the same sentence? I didn’t, but now I’m happy about it.
 
Recent scientific reports show your happiness level is something that can be increased with a minimum amount of effort. Don’t you want to be happier? Don’t you think others like to be around happy people? Professor Sonja Lyubomirsky of the University of California (author of The How of Happiness) has conducted happiness research with thousands of men and women. The Good News is that a full 40% of your happiness level is completely within your control. You may have received Unhappy Genes and suffered Unfortunate Life Circumstances, but you still get a clean 40% at your command. And the tasks you can do are surprisingly easy.
 
Before I talk about these tasks, let’s get the 3 Big Happiness Myths out of the way.
 
Myth #1: Happiness is something that you find, like Shangri-la. This is not true, so don’t wait around for this magical occurrence.
 
Myth #2: Our circumstances determine our happiness. This is not true, so don’t think, “IF only this would happen, THEN I’d be happy.” I think this is a trap everyone falls into at some time.
 
Myth #3: You either have it or you don’t. Not true either. I’ve already told you’ve got 40% to develop. You can make improvements. 
 
 
Let’s get to the 12 tasks that Professor Lyubomirsky says will help you. She has an instant aversion to overly sweet sounding ideas, as I do. But, when she pushed herself to write gratitude letters to colleagues, she was surprised with the positive effect on others and on herself. So give yourself a little push. These are simple tasks. You don’t need to try all 12 of them. You could start out by selecting 4 that sound most appealing to you. Later, you can get around to other 8 and astound yourself with the results. Let me know about these astounding results. While you’re at it, get a copy of The How of Happiness and take its personal inventory and recommendations.
 
Here are the 12 simple tasks.
 

  1. Express gratitude — You can tell others or you can write down 5 every evening for a week.
  2. Cultivate optimism — Keep a journal of Your Best Possible Future. I’ll talk more about this in my Tip of the Week.
  3. Avoid overthinking and social comparison — Cut down on how often you rethink your problems and compare yourself to others. Cut down on thoughts, such as, “I wish I wouldn’t have said that! I should have said …”
  4. Practice acts of kindness — This is one of those overly sweet sounding ideas that I’m surprised I’ve become addicted to doing at least once a day. And scientists now have proof that “pay it forward” is something that usually happens. It’s saccharine, but true. I agree with Robert Wright (author of Non-Zero, another book you should get) that altruism is built into our genes. It’s helped our survival. As Martha Stewart would say, “It’s a good thing.”  Nah, I can’t get that sweet.
  5. Nurture relationships — Spend time and energy in cultivating and enjoying a relationship, or healing an ailing relationship.
  6. Develop strategies for coping — Practice ways to handle or get over stress, hardship, or trauma.
  7. Learn to forgive — Write a letter in which you try to let go of anger or resentment of someone. It is necessary to write it, but not necessary to mail it.
  8. Do more activities that truly engage you — I call these “flow activities” that you find challenging and absorbing. You know you’re in flow when you lose track of time. If you’re interested in this topic, you absolutely have to read the book Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Professor Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.
  9. Savor life’s joys — Pay close attention and replay life’s momentary pleasures and wonders, through thinking, writing, drawing, or sharing with another.
  10. Commit to your goals — Pick one, or several of your goals and devote time and effort to pursuing them.
  11. Practice religion and spirituality — Devote thought and energy to whichever form is comfortable for you.
  12. Take care of your body — Engage in physical activity, meditating, smiling, and laughing.

 
So, pick your Top 4 and devote attention to them. Later, pick up the other 8 and see how high you can raise your Happiness Level. Who could object to that?
 
 
My Tip of the Week deals with Task #2 Cultivating Optimism.
Here it is.
 
Tip of the Week:
 
This will not take much of your time. It will take 20 minutes tonight and 20 minutes for each of the next 3 nights. Research at two universities (by Professor Sonja Lyubomirsky, and by Professor Laura King) has shown this small investment of time can make a significant difference in your life.
 
Select a blank notebook and begin writing a journal of Your Best Possible Future. Be sure to cover each area of your life—I mean, your future life. Picture yourself in the future, after everything has gone as well as it could. You’ve worked hard and accomplished your life goals. For instance, Julie Anne could say, “I can imagine myself married with 2 children, working in the Internet field, spending summer vacations in Montana with my family, meditating and exercising on a regular schedule, planning social outings, organizing art exhibitions, and performing the saxophone with The Big Sky Cowgirls.” 
 
Remember, scientists have shown us we can increase our happiness, optimism, and our motivation. Spending 4 nights on this exercise will make a difference, and devoting another night, maybe once a month, will improve it even more. How much of an improvement in Your Best Possible Future do you want to see? Make it happen. It’s within your control!
 
 
Be sure to visit our site, www.WomensMedia.com to get Expert Advice for Working Women.
 
 
Further Reading:
 
Website, WomensMedia, by Dianne Schilling, Simple Secrets of Happiness.
 
Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Balancing Work, Family, Friends And More —Consider 8 Aspects In Your Work-Life Balance or listen to it here.
 
Podcast (always about 5 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, The Good News About Women And Leadership —Here’s Something to be Happy About!
 
Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Reduce Stress With Mindfulness —One Minute of Focus Is A Minute Well Spent or listen to it here.
 
Website, WomensMedia, by Sarita Maybin, How to Stay Positive in a Negative Workplace.
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The Glass Ceiling Is History!

February 14th, 2009

Let’s Make Sure The Glass Ceiling Stays In The Past

Women have been trained to speak softly and carry a lipstick.
Those days are over.
Bella Abzug

Finally, and dramatically, public perception has changed!
Five years ago, anyone could say, “ A woman or an African American man cannot be elected President,” and it would be assumed to be true. Now, even though Hillary Clinton did not win, we can picture either type of candidate having a viable chance in the future. Imagine the change: Race or gender no longer eliminates you from becoming President of the United States!

This perception is percolating down into our business world with the outstanding performance of a number of female CEO’s. We have seen that a woman can successfully grow a small company into a major player, such as Meg Whitman did with eBay. She formed a fledgling Internet idea into a company with revenue of 8.46 billion dollars a year. She now has her eye on another arena—politics.

The Rules are Changing
You no longer have to dress like a man or act like a man to reach upper management—the level that was forbidden by the glass ceiling. You can act in a style that’s comfortable to you as long as you show others they can have confidence in you. My Tip of the Week shows you how to do this.

The Glass Ceiling Effect
Some of you may be wondering, “How strong was that glass ceiling?” With nearly half the U.S. workforce female, it only allowed 15% of the upper management desks to be occupied by women. So, assuming as I do, that women and men are equally competent in their abilities, we would be seeing 50% of those desks occupied by women if the glass ceiling had not existed.

This glass ceiling effect took place over and over again at review time. There’s a little bit of subjective thinking in a review, in the manager’s mind, that pushes a competent worker over the threshold into a higher level position. It goes like this, “She’s doing a good job . . . but she doesn’t look like upper management material in our company.” Well, that’s true. She probably doesn’t appear as confident or as imposing. She probably talks about her business worries—men work harder to not expose any weakness. And she probably doesn’t look like the current upper managers, 85% of whom are men.

What Must You Do?
Individually, we have to remove gender bias—along with racial and ethnic bias—from our subjective promotion criteria. I need to emphasize here that it doesn’t matter if the reviewing manager is male or female. We’ve been comparing our employees to men at the top. So, it’s up to each of us to do our part to conduct unbiased reviews—making sure the glass ceiling stays in the past.


5 Steps for Moving Up
Here’s what you can do to speed your ascent into the realm of upper management.

  1. Believe that the glass ceiling is obsolete and that it won’t affect you. You know, act as if there’s no sexism left in business. Remember that others who still hold that belief are hanging onto a passé dogma.
  1. Make a point of showing you’re a decision maker. You can solicit input, but assume your role as the final decision maker on projects. You must overturn that erroneous stereotype that women are indecisive. Management studies show female managers are good at making decisions.
  1. Force yourself to be more of a risk taker. Women are more risk averse than men, and sometimes miss business opportunities. So, up your risk taking by 15%, 20%, or whatever takes you slightly out of your 100% safety zone.
  1. Speak up when others will notice—remember, you’re now a player. Act like one.
  1. Get help at home—help with the cleaning, help with the children, help with your elders—don’t assume you have to do it all. You’ll still have moments when you feel overwhelmed with your “other life duties,” but try not to complain at work. Your superiors might decide you can’t take on higher assignments.

My Tip of the Week asks you to join me in prodding companies to do the right thing. Here it is.

Tip of the Week:

See to it that the statistics for your company are published. The Internet is a good place. The purpose of these stats is to highlight your company’s positive role in shattering the glass ceiling, such as:  “Five years ago, 11% of the top 2 tiers of our company were female. This year we’ve progressed to 15% and we’re looking forward to progressing next year as well.” A public record of this is an incentive to do even better next year. And I’m all for incentives, because they work!

Be sure to visit our site, www.WomensMedia.com to get Expert Advice for Working Women.

Now that the glass ceiling is history, make your move—with confidence.

Further Reading:

Website, WomensMedia, by Bonita Banducci, Women’s Equality and Equity—Equal and Different—WIth Bonus Tips From Five Savvy Women

Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Proof That Women Make Great Managers—Studies Show Areas Where Women Excel or listen to it here.

Podcast (always about 5 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Gender Stereotypes Hold Women Back—Those Little Put-Downs Really Do Add Up!

Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Leadership For Women—How To Make The Jump From Manager To Leader or listen to it here.

Website, WomensMedia, by Hilary M. Lips, Women and Leadership: The Delicate Balancing Act

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