We Women Are Smart—We Can Learn To Ask
 
Do you know how far behind men we are when it comes to negotiating?  A big part of the problem is that men ask for things eight times more often than women. I know, I know, you’re thinking, “It’s not nice to negotiate.” Somehow we women have been brought up to believe that we shouldn’t ask for things for ourselves. We should look out for others. And because we’ve bought into this idea, we feel GUILT when we do ask. You know the saying: Show me a woman who doesn’t feel guilt, and I’ll show you a man.
 
This problem is all wrapped up in gender. How does it play out in the workplace? A woman starts out making less than a man on her first job—as I discussed in my Feb. 22, 2006 blog posting. A man asks for more than was initially offered and treats this activity like a game. When he’s shot down in the last round, he doesn’t take it personally as a blow to his ego. Because we women are avoiding this game, we start out 15 percent lower!
 
Tip:  Take a step in the right direction:  Ask for something you want.  It doesn’t have to be money.  It can be paid attendance at a conference, a change in your office environment, a change in your job description, or something else that will make a difference to you.  Phrase it in a way that points to the benefit your company will receive from your new knowledge, contacts, ability to work more efficiently, etc.  And don’t balk at this one—because you’re a woman you may have to ask three times before you get what you want.  Don’t back down or minimize your request at the first or second strike. 
 
 
 
Further Reading:
 
WomensMedia:  Learning to Ask
 
Institute for Women’s Policy Research
 
Interesting Stats http://www.womendontask.com/stats.html
 
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Tags: business, women, working, success, negotiation