Nice Girl Or Mean Girl?— Are Those The Choices?
Sex Role Stereotypes Keep Tripping Us Up!
Yesterday I took the Bem Sex Role Inventory Test and I can’t stop thinking about it! (You get to take the quiz in a few minutes.) Dr. Sandra Bem developed it in 1971. It characterizes how feminine or how masculine you are based on gender stereotypes.
How do you think I scored? Feminine? Masculine? Wrong on both counts. I scored Androgynous! Of course, now I’m reviewing my answers looking for what’s so non-feminine. I’m usually kind to people—giving them the benefit of the doubt . . . the first time around. I’m cheerful and independent—more good stuff, I would think. I’m assertive because who wants to get stepped on? I have my own opinions. I’m not shy about stating them. I will go on explaining these opinions as long as others appear interested. Oh, I see the problem: 1970’s women were supposed to ask men their opinions and appear pleasantly agreeable.
More than a few of these sex role stereotypes are still expected of women. And for working women this creates quite a few problems. You can fill your professional duties well by acting along with the masculine stereotypes, but you’ll be hobbled with the Not Nice label wherever you go. Fortunately, many men in their twenties and thirties are sympathetic to this predicament. If they miss a clue, you can point this out and strengthen the new images we’re anxious to see as commonplace in business. As for a man over 50, studies have shown that if he expects the Nice Girl stereotype, don’t waste your energy trying to change his mind. It’s too late, or something about an old dog and new tricks.
Tip: Talk with other women and form a plan of attack (sounds like a 70’s masculine approach) when you hear the words “She’s not nice.” Think of adjectives to more correctly reform the image, such as:
She’s professional,
She’s direct and efficient,
She’s not afraid to make a decision, or
She’d make an excellent Commander in Chief. (couldn’t resist tossing that in)
Further Reading:
Take the test! The Bem Sex Role Inventory Test (a 30-question quiz)
WomensMedia Site: Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office, by Lois Frankel.
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