It’s One Of The Best Things About Being A Woman
 
 
How would you answer the question:  What’s the best thing about being a woman? Oh, OK, I forgot about that, and that. I bet you didn’t think about putting this stereotype in that category: Women are always changing their minds.
 
We nearly always have to watch out for dreadful stereotypes and run play interference to stop them and then we have to put on a production to show we’re not a model example. But here’s a twist I believe we should run with, shouting, “Yes, we women change our minds. When we uncover new information counter to what we previously thought, we flex and adjust our thinking. And that’s OK. In fact, that’s good for business.”
 
Now, of course, some men behave this way, but how often have you heard a man defend his position. And continue to defend his position as each new flaming factoid heads his way? In the workplace, this eats up valuable time. Business must act on current truths—defending an old position is not going to bring in new markets.
 
Two of the talents that come easily to most women are the ability to flex quickly with changes and being comfortable with ambiguity. These two traits work together to tempt us to change our minds with new developments. We can ignore these nudges, but I say, pay attention to them. Realize many things are not either black or white. Gray is OK.
 
In my own experience, I’ve made massive belief changes. In the women’s lib days at Berkeley, I defended my position that there were absolutely no differences between men and women, aside from delivering babies. To admit a difference meant to admit being inferior.
 
For the last three decades, I’ve observed the differences, I value the differences, and I can enjoy the humor in how these differences sometimes play out. I agree with Judy Rosener and Tom Peters in believing we should honor the differences between men and women and have them smoothly mesh together in the workplace.
 
 
Tip:  Watch out when you’re the female Bringer of Bad News to a male. You may hear, “Na-Ah! No way!”  The more information you add, the stronger his denial. You know why? ‘Cause the minute the women leave the room, the guys will tease him with, “Shot down by a woman!”  In a forward-thinking company this shouldn’t happen. And maybe next year all companies will be forward-thinking. But for now, think about how you can present new data when you expect a strong defense. If you find a man is relentlessly shooting down your factoids say, “If I’m able to gather information showing X, would you be interested in looking it over and reconsidering?”  This at least allows him to save face in front of the group. Of course, you don’t have to do that. You can perhaps win the fight right there, but you’ll have to watch your back, and that’s not fun.
 
Further Reading:
 
Website, WomensMedia, Tom Peters says “Women Roar”
He leaves no doubt of the tremendous benefits for organizations that recognize the importance of women.
 
Website, WomensMedia, John Gray: Tips for Women Who Want to Work Well With Men
WomensMedia’s Favorites
 
Website, Tom Peters Talks with Judy Rosener
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Tags: business, differences, between, men, and, women, working

The Truth About Work-Life Balance
 
 
Are women really dropping out of the workforce to raise their children?
 
Ignore the buzz about the hoards of executive women who are dropping out of the workplace. The truth is that 7 out of 10 mothers of children (children from 0 to 18) are in the work force. I’m not saying it’s easy, but there sure are a lot of women who are doing it. And there sure are a lot of bosses who are getting used to employing mothers.
 
Maybe all that news buzz was because there was a slight increase in the number of women who chose to stay home with a child under the age of one. (Workplace participation by married women with a child under the age of one, fell from 57% in 1997 to 50% today.) I’m always looking for the upside in a new trend. I see one here where employers might become more amenable to extending maternity leave. We certainly need more generous leave policies. To ease the financial hardship on the company, I’d be in favor of an unpaid extension to the company’s maternity leave period as long as the medical and other benefits stayed in force. There are companies that are doing this and it’s no surprise that they’re among the top-rated companies for working mothers (see below).
 
Are there any signs that the situation for working moms is improving?

Ellen Galinsky, president of Families and Work Institute, said their survey last year found that 32% of senior executives (men as well as women) at 10 large multinational companies made personal and family needs a priority as often as work demands. “They took their full vacations, worked an average five hours a week less than other top executives, yet were highly successful and happy about their choices.” This is a good indication that it’s no longer the Kiss-of-Death to admit you have a life outside of the office. And that should be OK!

I recall that ten years ago there was a survey of one of our largest legal firms. The men and women were asked (anonymously, of course) to say what they thought of a parent taking time off to handle a child-task. The women said they understood that this was important and would not downgrade a parent career-wise for it. The men, most of them, said they would not consider an employee legal partner material if they did this. But, because this was an anonymous survey, most of them admitted they had done it but had said they were taking care of a client-task. In the past, perhaps the lesson was that women were too darn honest. Today, the lesson may be that it shows your values are in place when you take care of others.

To answer my own question, yes there are signs that the situation is improving for working moms and for working dads. I look forward to companies that laud a father, or a mother, for taking time off from work to coach a child’s soccer team.

What does a successful CEO mom have to say about balancing?

In the words of Shelly Lazarus, a mother of three and the CEO of Ogilvy & Mather (one of the biggest ad agencies in the world), “It is certainly possible to be both a mother and a CEO. You learn how to set priorities, and you learn how to enjoy the ride.”  She stuck to her family priorities as she was climbing the corporate ladder. When off-site meetings were scheduled to begin on a Sunday evening, she told her bosses or her clients that weekends were for her family—and she didn’t show up until Monday morning. “I’ve seen women go to those Sunday night meetings and then feel torn and guilty about being away from their children,” she says. “Instead of asking for what they need, they leave the company.” Shelly advises women to “set their terms with employers, to have the courage to say no—and to realize that if they show their indispensable talents and strengths, chances are employers will accommodate them.” As to her own employees, she says, “I can have talent on their terms or not have their talent, and I take the talent every time.”   
 
Tip:  Before starting a family, plan how you’d like to proceed with your career. Would you want to stay with your present company? If so, decide on 2 or 3 plans for maternity leave. I know that your company probably only has one plan—and it’s probably not a generous one. One of your creative plans could be to take 1 or more years off. At an appropriate time, preferably before your pregnancy is obvious, set up a meeting to discuss these possibilities with your boss. You could consider taking an online class while you’re home that would increase your value to your company. Let your boss know this. Ask him, or her, what type of class would be of value to the company.
 
Further Reading:
 
Website, WomensMedia, by Carol Bartz, a mother and Chairman and CEO, Autodesk, Inc., Sustaining Performance in Good Times and Bad
 
Website, USA Today, Working Mother magazine’s Top 100 Companies for Working Mothers
 
Website, Families and Work Institute , Work Life Research at the Families and Work Institute
 
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Tags: business, women, working, mothers, moms, work, life, balance