How Successful Women Use Power
November 30th, 2006
Please see updated article.
Can A Woman Be A Great Speaker?
November 24th, 2006
It’s Easy To Get Control Of Your Nerves—You Can Do It!
If you could do a great job of giving a speech, could it make you more successful? Answer honestly. I know you might want to give yourself an excuse, such as:
- I’m not the kind of person who can do that.
- It’s not really that important in my business.
- I can’t take any more stress right now, maybe later.
- There are a few men in my company who like to do that. I’m not like them.
Knowing that I’ll tell you the secret of how you can control your nerves, would you do yourself a big favor by picturing yourself standing in front of a group giving a good presentation? Visualize this. That’s actually the first step. Pause here and take a look inward. Picture that no one in your audience sees a nervous woman giving a speech. They’re actually listening and enjoying what you’re saying. If you confess this would make you more successful, you’ve passed the second step and are ready to learn the secret of how to control your nerves.
Before I tell you the secret, I want to let you know the most boring speakers are the 1% of the population who do not get nervous in front of a crowd. They don’t come across with energy. Even Donald Trump admits he gets nervous. Controlling your nerves so the audience is unaware is what is necessary.
The Secret
Depending on the room and setup, you can pick and choose which of these techniques you’ll use. If you have the time to do each of them in this order, it’s a slam-dunk.
- Get some type of exercise before the speech. Plan it out ahead. Maybe you can do some aerobics before getting dressed. Maybe you can take off your heels and run up and down a few flights of stairs. Or, this is the easiest, jog in place for a few minutes while raising and lowering your arms.
- Use positive self-talk to override the fear-talk. Concentrate on what you know about this topic and how you can help the audience. Think about how they’ll appreciate your efforts.
- Take 2 to 3 deep breaths.
- Tense your muscles, then release them. If you can do all your muscles at once, great. If that’s not possible, just tense your hands and feet and then release.
- When you’re about to be introduced, take one deep breath and then smile and assume your best posture.
- Stride up to the focal point. Smile. Pause and look around for a few seconds. Don’t avoid that “pause.” It’s what signals to the audience that they needn’t worry about you. You’ll be fine—and they’re glad you’re up there and not them! They want you to succeed.
Tip:
When you’re doing the pause before you start your speech, look around at the most friendly faces. Don’t skip their eyes or smiles. Scan different parts of the room, connecting with people. Channel your nerves into energy—and let that energy show! You can be one of those great female speakers!
Further Reading:
Website, WomensMedia, by Dana Bristol-Smith, You Can Be a Superstar Speaker!
Website, WomensMedia, by Dana Bristol-Smith, Presenting For Success: Simple Strategies to Add Confidence to Your Next Presentation
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How To Get A Handle on Time
November 16th, 2006
Don’t Let Time Ruin Your Work-Life Balance
Also see: Time Management & Procrastination —Tackling Procrastination Is A Time Management Tool That Works!
Is your job or your business eating away at your Other Time? That Other Time is every bit as important as work time. It’s true. It’s just tough keeping this idea from slipping into the background noise of work and more work.
You know I’m going to say it, “Which work tasks are most important?” No fair saying, “They’re all important.” The most important use of your time right now is to answer this question on a piece of paper that you can refer to whenever you’re overwhelmed.
Accept that you cannot do EVERYTHING. If time has been getting away from you, here’s what I want you to do. If time has only been a little out of control, decide you’re going to take on 95% of what you usually tackle. If it’s been really bad, scale it back to 80%.
Here’s where you refer to your priority list of work tasks. How many hours do you have to devote to work today? Don’t work through lunch or extend your day. That’s part of your important Other Time. How can you fit the selected jobs into the day? Write up a schedule. Decide what you’ll do when the inevitable Unexpected Thing shows up. Will you knock something out of the schedule? Will you tell others that you can’t handle that today? Will you suggest another person who can take it on?
The people who are truly successful in business don’t take on everything that comes their way. Instead, they perform well on selected tasks. Be in control, select the tasks you will perform well. Refer to your priority list at least a couple of times a day.
Tip: Starting this week, I want you to build yourself a Time Cushion. If you think a job will take you one hour, I want you to say to others that it will take an hour and a half. Theoretically, you should have 30 minutes to devote to something extra. You and I know that you probably won’t have more than 15 minutes because—we all do this—we’re too optimistic with our time. Now here’s the fun part of the Time Cushion: Decide how you’re going to reward yourself during that extra time. Twenty minutes is long enough for a meditation session listening to a tape of the ocean. Doesn’t that sound rewarding? OK, if not, think of something that resonates with you. Me, I’m opting for the ocean.
Visit our website, www.WomensMedia.com, for Expert Advice for Working Women.
Also see: Leadership & Delegation —By Delegating Tasks You Can Save Time And Boost Your Leadership Status
Further Reading:
Website, WomensMedia, by Sally Allen, Get Organized! Organizing Time Management
Website, WomensMedia, by Sally Allen, Get Organized! Organizing The Time Bandit
Book, by Pamela Dodd and Doug Sundheim, The 25 Best Time Management Tools & Techniques
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Is Feminism A Good Fit Today?
November 1st, 2006
What Works And What Do Young Women Want?
Having lived through the first and second waves of the Women’s Revolution, it’s interesting to me to ponder what many people call the current evolution—The Third Wave.
In 2004, thirty-one year-old Lisa Jervis wrote in Ms. Magazine, “We’ve reached the end of the wave terminology’s usefulness. What was at first a handy-dandy way to refer to feminism’s history and its present and future potential with a single metaphor has become shorthand that invites intellectual laziness, an escape hatch from the hard work of distinguishing between core beliefs and a cultural moment.”
Canvasing our large and vocal audience at WomensMedia, I’ve gotten this message from women in their 20’s, “I don’t need another wave. I don’t need to agree to a platform. I just need to do what I believe is right for me.” I support women who feel this way, but I’m working hard to add the idea “and I’ll help other women along the way.” Each of us can plow through the workplace and pick up a successful strategy here and there over the years. At the end of your career, you can look at your accumulated knowledge and realize you could give a young woman a head start today. I know it takes an effort and some time, but it’s one of the most important things women need to do to help other women move up from second-class status in the working world.
Women should have an equal shot in business. We’re in the pipeline—half the workforce. We have the credentials—we’re graduating from college in record numbers. We’re dependable—we’ve shown we’ll come back, ever-loyal, after getting our families off to a good start . . .if, you’ll give us the chance. What aren’t we getting? We aren’t getting the rapid promotions, the good salaries, and the upper management positions that go to men.
Now, don’t you think this would make women want to bring back Gloria Steinem and start the marches again? Well it doesn’t. When I talk to women about being treated equal to men at work, I get push-back at the hint of the word “feminism” or the thought of speaking up about unfairness in the workplace. They tell me they don’t hate men. Where does that comment come from? They sadly shake their heads and agree they’ve experienced setbacks that don’t happen to their male peers. I sense they want to help themselves, and they’d consider helping other women, but they want to avoid, at all costs, being put in the Troublemaker Bin! OK, I can agree with part of it. I can agree that when you’re tossed into the Toublemaker Bin, you’re at a distinct disadvantage in that company. Find your resume and start polishing it up. I can agree it’s sad to experience inequities just because you’re a woman. But I cannot agree you should be passive every time you’re mistreated. And I cannot agree that being For Women includes Being Against Men.
Tip: How do you answer that ubiquitous question: Are you a feminist? Try saying: I’m for women and not against men. While I’m preaching, I want to remind you to help at least one other woman this week. That’s why I’m blogging. I want to give you something to discuss with other women that will fuel progress. You’ll do a better job of speaking up when you see unfairness if you have a pact with another woman. You don’t have to speak up with an angry voice—remember humor is easier to swallow. This week, discuss one It’s-Just-Not-Fair that seems to happen only to women in your business. Talk about what you’ll say from now on—every time it happens. Shining a small spotlight repeatedly is how we’ll make change happen.
Further Reading:
Website, WomensMedia, by Debra Meyerson, Gender in Business: Speak Up About Double Standards
The Choice Is Yours
Website, Women’s eNews, by Courtney E. Martin, Young Women Say Generation Labels Need Not Apply
Book, by Melody Berger, We Don’t Need Another Wave: Dispatches from the Next Generation of Feminists
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