Thank You, Sir. Your Momma Must Be Proud!
 
 
You know, we’ve gotta lighten up. We’ve got men Walking On Eggshells around us. They hesitate to open doors for us because they’re afraid we might say, “I can do that!” And they have to watch their language because they’ve been warned at the office that lawsuits are waiting to pounce. Now, I’m not talking about degrading comments here. Those are out for both women and ethnic groups. But you know how men joke around with other men at the office? Their comments are peppered with, how should I put it . . . poor taste. Can’t we just roll our eyes, or laugh, if it’s really good?
 
Some of you may think, “Why should women let this joking go on?” Well, I say it’s better for women—and it’s better for men.
 
There’s another component to the door-opening dilemma. It’s the dilemma of “If I offer to help her, does that look like I think she’s not capable?”  It’s important to realize this “not capable” thing is more important to men than to women. Because of this, if we need help, we need to ask for it. As you’re boarding an airplane with that heavy carryon, you’re probably dreading heaving it overhead into the bin. And I can guarantee you the man sitting beneath that bin is holding his breath. Look around and choose a strong looking man to assist you and tell him you appreciate it.
 
This Walking On Eggshells around women is happening at the same time as the media is repeatedly commenting on “The Loss of Courtesy” in our society. Now I’m not saying women are responsible for the loss of courtesy, but I am saying that we should encourage courtesy. I’m reminded of that television segment on the New York subway showing a very pregnant woman having to stand. It’s true that we see this behavior more now than we used to. You should take the opportunity to encourage courtesy—gladly give up your seat. Appreciate how it makes you feel. I bet it will rub off on others—women as well as men.
 
Tip:
Here’s what I want you to try. Next time you’re approaching a door, slow up and give a man a chance to act—if he’s so inclined. Then when he opens the door, look him in the eye and sincerely tell him you appreciate it. Don’t say this next part out loud, but think it:  “You’re momma must be proud!” I’ll bet it was his mother who taught him to do this. 
 
 
Further Reading: 
 
Podcast (always less than 10 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Powerful Body Language For Working Women —Women, Change Your Body Language, Change Your Message

Website, Revenwerks Information Center, by Paula Gamonal, Business Etiquette:  More Than Just Eating With the Right Fork
 
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Tags: business, women, courtesy,