Women’s Intuition Is A Valuable Tool   

 

In talking about emotions and women’s intuition I think it’s interesting to quote a man, Jim Holt of the New York Times who says, “We all know from everyday experience that the sexes do not think exactly alike and that they tend to be good at doing different things – say, reading maps (men) versus reading faces (women). Some social scientists insist that such differences are entirely due to culture. But over the last couple of decades, proponents of evolutionary psychology have been piecing together a case that the mind is naturally sexed. Our male and female forebears faced different evolutionary pressures in their struggle to survive and reproduce on the Pleistocene grasslands, and as a result they have different mental aptitudes and even differently organized brains.” Jim, I agree that there are some differences and that it’s a “good thing.”
 
I admire the work of Professor Judy Rosner, author of America’s Competitive Secret: Women Managers. Among the general male/female differences she includes:
 
Women are sensitive to subliminal cues;
men pay little attention to subliminal cues.
 
Research has shown that women can more quickly decipher facial expression, moods, and voice tones. My advice to women is, “Don’t let this intuitive talent go to waste. This is a valuable tool you can use to your advantage in business. Remember that it’s next to impossible to put your intuitive feelings into words, so don’t let others push you into that time-consuming canyon. My Tip of the Week will help you with your explanation to others.
 
In this blog, I’m always on the lookout for additional reading to put in your development path. If you’re interested in intuition, you must read Malcolm Gladwell’s book Blink:  The Power of Thinking Without Thinking. I’m sure all of you have had that “gut feeling” that something was wrong. If you read his book, you’ll feel confident that you don’t have to explain your intuition verbally, in fact, it’s usually not possible to do so. Gladwell lays out a fascinating example of the use of intuition. The Getty Museum was considering buying a multi-million dollar ancient Greek statue, but wanted to make sure it wasn’t a fake. They took more than a year bringing in experts to analyze it. Just before the sale was finalized, Evelyn Harrison, a Greek antiquities expert, was in town to visit the museum. The curator asked her to take a look at the statue. “He just swished a cloth off the top of it and said, ‘Well, it isn’t ours yet, but it will be in a couple of weeks.’ And I said, ‘I’m sorry to hear that.’” Evelyn couldn’t put into words what exactly triggered her reaction. She could only say she had an instinctive sense that something was wrong. This type of instinctive feeling happens immediately—within the first two seconds. Alarmed, the curator had the statue shipped to Greece so a symposium of experts could weigh in on her opinion. They agreed—the statue turned out to be a very good fake.
 
Your intuition is handled by the part of your brain called the adaptive unconscious. It’s what has helped us survive as a species. You often don’t have time to analyze a situation. Your adaptive unconscious can be very efficient at sizing up danger, seizing new opportunities, and initializing action, if you let it do its job. Now here’s the Tip of the Week.
 
 
Tip:  I’m hopeful that you’ll be following your women’s intuition more often. So here’s how to present it to others:  “Based on my experience, I know we should do X. Time is important and we could miss our opportunity.” Jack Welch, former CEO of G.E., often said, “Go with your gut!” but I think my presentation is more palatable from a woman. Yes, yes, it’s not fair. You can try the gut version if you think your company has reached gender neutrality.Now go out there and follow your intuition!
 
 
Further Reading:
 
Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Female Behavior Traits —In Other Words, What Is Comfortable? 

Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Powerful Body Language For Working Women —Women, Change Your Body Language, Change Your Message 

Podcast (always less than 10 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Episode 1 - Listen To This First —See Why The Time Is Right For Women In Business Website, WomensMedia, Judy B. Rosner, Women on Corporate Boards Make Good Business Sense  _________________________________________________________________  

Tags: women’s, emotions, intuition, business, blog, career, working, women

Assertive, Not Aggressive, Works Best For Women
 
 
Women know how important communication is—and sometimes just knowing that causes a problem. Let’s say you’re anxious about talking with someone under your supervision. He, or she, is not doing the job as you’d like. You need to point out the problems, but you’re worried about coming on too strong—too aggressive, and you’re worried about the employee’s reaction. In a effort to minimize repercussions, we often add a few sentences here . . . and a few sentences there . . . and pretty soon, the message is lost.
 
We all realize men can get away with aggressive statements more often than women. We’re sensitive to that “cultural inequity.” We can live with that. We don’t want to be abrasive, but we do want to be assertive and have our message understood and followed—without bloodshed.
 
The advice is don’t try to soften your statement by getting too wordy. Here’s what you should do. Take a second to think of the main message as if this were a newspaper article: There’s a Problem With the Marketing Report. Start your remarks with that message. Next, you give the 1^st supporting point to your message, then the 2^nd, and if you need more, the 3^rd point.
 
If you’re the type of woman who wants to start this type of conversation with a pleasant compliment, then the Tip of the Week is a must for you!
 
 
Tip:
 
So, are you the type of woman who wants to start this type of problem conversation with a pleasant compliment? If so, you probably feel comfortable starting with, “I’m happy with the way you do X.”  Then, you plan to go into, “But I have a problem with Y.”
 
This is the sandwich mode and you have to be careful to judge the audience in advance. There’s a gender divide here. You can use this with most women, and with only those most sensitive men. When you use it with most men, they hear the “happy with you” and then “blah, blah, blah.” Nah, it’s not exactly that bad, but I couldn’t resist! When you get wordy with a man, he’s on alert until he hears “happy” and then he relaxes and may not get the point that this is an important communication about a problem concerning him. If you’ve made the mistake of going to the sandwich mode and see his eyes start to glaze over, you’d better scramble to bring the audience back to the problem.
 
You’ll need to end the conversation with a reiteration of the problem, what needs to be done to correct it, and when this is to be completed and revisited. And yes, you can then smile, and maybe shake hands.
 
Now go out there and tailor your authority to your audience!
 
 
Further Reading:
 
Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Communicating With Authority, Or Deferring To Men? —Why Are Smart Women Deferring To Men?
 
Podcast (always less than 10 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Episode 1 - Listen To This First —See Why The Time Is Right For Women In Business
 
Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Powerful Communication For Women —How To Change “I Speak Like A Girl” to “I Know What I’m Talking About”
 
Website, WomensMedia, by Hilary M. Lips, Women and Leadership: The Delicate Balancing Act
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Tags: working, women, business, career, leadership, authority

Don’t Hurt His Masculinity
 
 
I’ve told you before, women don’t have it easy—it’s not a level playing field out there at work. Men do have it much easier, but that’s no reason to ignore their difficulties! In fact, ignoring their difficulties can cause a world of trouble for you!
 
Little boys have been raised to believe that to be masculine is to act strong, take charge, tell others what to do, and push and shove when necessary to make a point.
 
A grown man still harbors his little boy upbringing and goes into his push and shove routine when challenged at work. Women have to understand that this is a type of game between the “boys.” It’s mysterious to us to see men shouting at each other in a meeting and then going out for a drink—laughing—after work. Note to women: We’d be better off to adopt this attitude instead of the lengthy, moping “You aren’t my friend anymore” behavior.
 
I’ve been in the working world long enough to know that when a woman challenges a man she should be careful how she does this, especially if it’s being observed by others. If you take a blatant stab at his masculinity, the other guys will say, or think, “Oooh, that girl  got you!”  The man will become defensive and may try to shoot you down.
 
In Seducing the Boys Club, Nina DiSesa gives this advice:  “For me, men have always been higher-maintenance than women. I know that men believe just the opposite, but they are wrong. Men are work. For instance, it takes more time to make an impression with men than with women. It would be a lot faster if I didn’t worry about bruising their masculine pride, but I always worry about that. And I encourage other women to worry about it as well. There is nothing more dangerous than a wounded bull, especially if you are the one who made him bleed.”
 
What’s a woman to do? I don’t advocate sitting silently in a meeting when a man is spouting bad information. Way too many women are currently sitting silently in meetings as it is. I want you to speak up—with care. My tip of the week deals with this topic.
 
 
Tip:
Let’s suppose Jim has taken over the meeting and you don’t agree with his message. It doesn’t agree with the studies you’ve seen and will lead your company in the wrong direction. If you want to be safe, you could say, “Jim, you probably haven’t had time to see the marketing report I just read. It gives statistics showing we’d increase our revenue using a different method. Do you want me to get that to you?” The ball is now in his court. He could decide to say “No” and defy the marketing department, or he could say “Yes” and ask you to get the report to him. It’s your chance to say, “Sure, I’ll get that to you …right away. Meanwhile I’ll summarize the information for everyone in this meeting. My take on the results show X. And I think the best way to proceed using this information is to do Y. I’ll put together an email on all this and get it to everyone later today.”  Enough said. You didn’t wound the bull—and he didn’t gore you!
 
It’s time for men and women to work together—peacefully and equally. Now get out there and make that happen!
 
 
Further Reading:
 
Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, When You Want Men To Listen To You—You Have To Resort To Trickery

Podcast (always less than 10 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Episode 1 - Listen To This First —See Why The Time Is Right For Women In Business
 
Podcast (always less than 10 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Gender Communication: Nature Or Nurture?  —Why Do We Have Mars-Venus Communication, And Why Is Mars More Powerful?
 
Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Promoting Women Increases The Bottom Line— Fortune 500 Companies Recognize A Good Thing!
 
Website, WomensMedia, by Hilary M. Lips, Women and Leadership: The Delicate Balancing Act
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Tags: working, women, business, career, gender, differences, DiSesa