Use Confident Language That Says, “I Can Do It!”
 
 
The “impostor syndrome” is more prevalent among women than men. You know, it’s that nagging feeling that any minute people will discover that you’re not up to a task. Relax, most of us feel that way when we accept a challenge—even a small one.
 
If you’re a woman, you know how often this self-doubt occupies your mind. It occupies a man’s mind too, but to a lesser extent. And, here’s the important fact, men don’t voice this OUT LOUD. You know what a man says when faced with self-doubt:  Of course, I can do it!
 
Now, the first tip for you is to stop vocalizing your self-doubt. The second tip is to substitute strong words for your weak vocabulary whenever you feel doubt creeping up.
 
Start substituting these phrases:
 
I know…
I’m convinced that…
I’m certain…
 
 
And stop uttering these phrases:
 
I’m not sure, but…
I feel…
I may be wrong, but…
 
 
Start bringing these phrases into the conversation—when they fit, of course:
 
a proven winner
take advantage of a unique opportunity
tell me what you need and I’ll take care of it
minimum risk and opens up possibilities
I’ll evaluate it
in my experience, response has been good
I’ll give it top priority
 
 
Tip: 
 
 Let’s say you want to talk to your boss with full confidence—and no self-doubt showing. Words are not the only concern. Your body language must be strong as well. Here’s the scenario. Knock on your boss’ door. Enter with strength—not timidly—and make eye contact. Take a minute or two before being seated—there’s power is having your boss look up to you. Sit up straight. Only use your hands to make strong gestures—especially those with an upturned palm. Don’t let your hands fiddle with your hair or jewelry or pen. You know you can do a good job of this. Give it a try!
 
Further Reading:
 
Podcast (always less than 10 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Communicate Without Losing Your Authority —Assertive, Not Aggressive, Works Best For Women

Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Stereotypes, Not Differences, Are Holding Women Back —Are Mars-Venus Stereotypes Barriers To Women’s Advancement?

Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Leadership Using Collaboration —Collaboration For Good Leadership

Website, WomensMedia, by Kimberly Wiefling, Unmasking the Impostor Syndrome —Do you ever feel like a fraud in your professional realm?
_________________________________________________________________

Tags: business, career, women, confidence, communication, self-improvement, strong, impostor

Successful Women Use Power Differently Than Men
 
 
I believe women see power differently from the way men do. Women see power in terms of influence, rather than rank. In agreement is Ann Fudge, Chairman and CEO of Young & Rubicam Brands, one of the world’s leading marketing communications groups, and a member of the Harvard Board of Overseers. She questions, “Do we need to follow the boys’ scorecard?” She believes her power is based on an openness and ability to connect with people. She strives to use her power to influence others to contribute to the success of the company.
 
Successful companies today are going into the relationship mode. They’re focused on customer relations, and joint ventures with partners and suppliers. The winner-take-all form of negotiations does not sit well with companies you might want to partner with next year. It’s all about relationships now—and women are comfortable forming relationships.
 
Janice Gjertsen of Digital City New York handles many contract negotiations with media companies. “I see the same patterns over and over again: Men are oriented toward power, toward making fast decisions in a black-or-white mode. Women are more skilled at relationships. They see shades of gray and explore issues from different angles. It’s instinctual. Men come to the negotiating table in full battle armor. I don’t do that. I believe it goes against a woman’s nature to be aggressive, rude, or abrupt. I never know how to react to these kinds of women, and neither do men.”

A recent survey by Simmons School of Management showed that 80 percent of high-level women are comfortable with power and what they can accomplish with it. In all, 95 percent described themselves as action and results oriented. 92 percent said they formed critical relationships at work, and 90 percent said they built networks or allies. And for those of you who may be wondering, the survey also showed that women with or without children pursue power at the same rate.

Sara Levinson is president of NFL Properties, Inc. (yes, that NFL is the National Football League). She asked her all-male management team if her form of leadership was different from a man’s. They said her emphasis on communication and solicitation of ideas and opinions was distinctly female. And they added that she was a good leader. So, even in the NFL, a female style of leadership can be powerful.
 
Tip:
 
Don’t try to copy the boys on this one. You’ll be most effective being true to your nature. If you’re comfortable gathering ideas and looking at different perspectives, this can be your route to power. Don’t think you have to exert firm command-and-control to be a successful leader. There is one caveat here:  Once you’ve gathered ideas and made your decision, let everyone know that the team is now proceeding in this direction.
 
 
Further Reading: 
 
Podcast (always less than 10 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Leadership For Women —How To Make The Jump From Manager To Leader or read it here.
 
Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Communicate Without Losing Your Authority —Assertive, Not Aggressive, Works Best For Women
 
Podcast (always less than 10 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Powerful Body Language For Working Women  —men, Change Your Body Language, Change Your Message or read it here.
 
Website, WomensMedia, Michelle LaBrosse, Negotiate Your Way to Success
 
_________________________________________________________________

Tags: power, leadership, women, business, career