Smart Women Interrupt When They Need To
Don’t Wait! Be A Smart Woman And Interrupt.
You may also be interested in: When Men Won’t Listen To You —You Have To Resort To Trickery.
Are you waiting for a lull in the conversation so you won’t seem rude? I bet that little voice in the back of your head is repeating, “Nice girls don’t interrupt! Wait your turn.” Don’t do that—you’ll miss the ideal time to make your point. You’ve probably noticed men interrupt each other all the time. And have you noticed they interrupt women even more often? Well it’s true.
I interviewed Madeleine Albright—the first U.S. female Secretary Of State—and asked her for her #1 piece of advice for working women. She said, “I tell women to act in a more confident manner. You need to learn to interrupt. Ask questions when they occur to you and don’t wait to ask. Also, you don’t need to ask permission to ask a question.” Albright raised her three daughters with this good advice.
In addition to speaking up when a good idea occurs to you, you need to learn how to keep people from interrupting you. Say, “I’m not finished,” or hold your hand up like a stop sign near your face—or do both together.
There’s another reason men may interrupt you. Men often look for a vulnerable person to spar with. They’re testing you by disagreeing with you. If they succeed, they feel they’re One-Up—and that’s a big game. A woman is a likely target, so be prepared for a jousting match. Expect to be challenged and handle it well: Don’t be defensive; don’t be emotional; do restate or add more supporting facts (as in, “You probably aren’t aware of the new study that shows …”). If you remain calm, you win the game—even though you probably didn’t want to play that game. If he’s still dragging out more jabs, you might consider turning your attention to another man (as in, “Paul, you’re aware of that new study, aren’t you?”).
Now, here’s the Tip of the Week.
Tip: Be one of the first people to start talking. You’ll more likely be perceived as dominant and in control of the conversation. Don’t talk too fast—this makes it sound as if you expect to be interrupted. When it happens and you are interrupted, hold your hand up slightly and say, “Just a minute.” If the same person immediately tries again, say, “Jim, just a minute, please.”
Now get out there and interrupt as if you had as much right to as the guys. Wait a minute, you do!
Further Reading:
Podcast (always less than 10 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Gender Communication Differences: Looking Through The Male Lens
—Why Did He Take That The Wrong Way? or read it here.
Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Communicate Without Losing Your Authority —Assertive, Not Aggressive, Works Best For Women
Website, WomensMedia, by Nancy Clark, Interview with Madeleine Albright: Advice for Working Women —The First Female U.S. Secretary of State
Website, WomensMedia, by Nancy Clark, Gender in Business: When Women Are Not Heard
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