Women Are Secretaries And Men Are CEO’s?
 
 
“Men and women aren’t planets apart,
but their stereotypes sure are!”
—Nancy Clark
 
 
One of the situations that motivates me to keep on bloggin’ is that most working women are not promoted above mid-management positions. This is not what you would expect when 6 out of 10 college diplomas are awarded to women and half our workforce is now female. My goal is to convince each woman to think about why this is happening and to decide this won’t happen to her, and that she’ll do her best to alert other women.
 
My topic involves the types of jobs we usually see doled out to women. At another time I’ll cover the industries or fields where women are dominant and the ones where men are dominant.
 
Do current stereotypes lead us to picture women doing certain types of jobs and men doing completely different jobs? Do you associate a particular gender with these jobs?

• Secretary
• Cashier
• Receptionist
• Mid-level supervisor

 
Do you associate a different gender with these jobs?

• CEO
• Executive Vice President
• Chief Financial Officer
• Member of the Board of Directors

 
The big questions I want you to think about are:

• Do women choose these jobs because that’s what they want?
• Do women believe their choices are limited to approved categories?
• Are women taught that they should want to serve others in particular ways?

 
Do you think being a woman has anything to do with where you are now? Do you want to change things? Are you worried that attempting a change will be a strain for you? Well, it will take you out of your comfort zone, but picture successful end results, and you’ll be spurred on. It’ll be worth it!
 
It all starts with that first job. As one young woman told us at WomensMedia, “I’m not really a secretary. I have a degree in economics.” She was offered a job with the type of firm she longed to work for, but they told her she’d have to start as a secretary. “Did any men find themselves in this same situation?” I asked her. She told me one man did, but most of the recent college graduates offered secretarial positions were women. It’s obvious the women did not expect that their college diplomas would land them in secretarial positions. And, of course, they all thought, “This will only be temporary.” Why does this happen? Stereotyping is the main reason. We picture women filling these roles, and are usually surprised when men fill them.
 
Managers—both men and women (yes, recent studies show we’re guilty)—offer women these low-paying positions. It’s unfair, but easy on the budget. And you’re probably thinking now, “Hey, this must be part of the reason women make less money than men for full-time work.” and you’d be right. Poor, and right. Let’s start to make changes.
 
Now, here’s my Tip of the Week.
 
Tip:
 
Let’s say you’re offered a low-level, non-challenging job. State what your desired title is and ask if one is available. I advise women to state this more than once so others get the impression that you’re a woman who does not give up. If you believe you must take this job, ask if you can revisit the discussion of the other position in 6 months. After you start the job, email a memo to your boss mentioning that you appreciate that he, or she, agreed to another discussion (in 6 months) regarding the position you were looking for. Email is a good way to document when topics were discussed. Save your email. Speed up your promotion.
 
Further Reading:
Podcast (always less than 10 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Stereotypes, Not Differences, Are Holding Women Back —Mars-Venus Stereotypes Are Barriers To Women’s Advancement? or read it here.
 
Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Communicate Without Losing Your Authority —Assertive, Not Aggressive, Works Best For Women or listen to it here.
 
Website, WomensMedia,  by Hilary M. Lips, Radford University, Women and Leadership: The Delicate Balancing Act

 _________________________________________________________________

Tags: stereotypes, women, business, career, gender, differences

 Show Me A Woman Who Doesn’t Feel Guilty And I’ll Show You A Man
 
 
Erica Jong hit the truth button with her guilt quote above. Of course, it’s probably not 100% true. There must be some men who feel as much guilt as women feel every day. But then, maybe not. That’s a research topic our government should look into.
 
For the guys who may be reading this, and may be asking, “What kind of things do women find to feel guilty about?” here are a few of the frequent culprits:
 

• I shouldn’t have eaten that cookie.
• I feel bad leaving Bobby with a babysitter.
• I didn’t make the bed.
• I didn’t have time to put in a load of laundry before work.
• My sales report was only 42 pages this month.
• And there was a typo.
• My inlaws are coming to dinner and I have no idea what I’m going to fix and I’m stuck in a boring management meeting and I’m wishing I would have asked my husband to pick up steaks on his way home and one of those gooey chocolate cakes (now I feel extra guilt for that thought)…

Guys, what do you think? Except for #2 above, I bet you’d say, “It doesn’t matter.”  Thank you guys. You’re right.  Most of the guilt we subject ourselves to can be reduced. We’d be better off. We’d probably even reduce our stress at the same time. And if we reduced stress . . .voila! …we’re told, we’d lose weight!
 
So let’s see, just because I love science, and I’m a guilt-ridden woman, I hypothesize that if every time we feel guilty, we consciously reduce the amount of guilt, we will consequently lose an equal amount of weight! Well, I guess we can believe that if we believe some foods are fat-burners, and that the best fat-burner perhaps is chocolate.  
 
I think the main reason women feel more guilt than men is because we’ve been taught that women should not be selfish. We should nurture and see to the needs of others first. And, if there’s any time left, we can think about doing something selfish. But that’s not exactly true, because if you’re a good girl you should be able to think of something else that needs to be done for others—even if they’re not asking you. Why didn’t we ever question the word “should” as it was fed to us at every turn?
 
Well, you have your chance now. I’m not suggesting you reply with what the boys would have said, “Why me?  Why now?  Says who?  Make me!” Here’s my tip for the grown up girl.
 

 
Tip #1:  The next time you feel guilty, take a quick measure of it and decide to noticeably reduce the amount of guilt you feel. Look around you. Find someone you admire who doesn’t suffer as you do. See, it’s OK. Don’t you feel better? And how about the reduction of stress? That’s good too! 

And this week I’m giving a second tip to help some working women.
 
Tip #2:  This one is for the working mothers who feel guilty when the nonworking mothers expect them to bake cookies for the children’s classroom. Convince their dad that it’s his turn to bring in the cookies and help in the classroom. I know from experience that it takes a little shoving, but the dads actually enjoy it when they get there and you know the kids get excited about it too. And go ahead and let Dad pickup cookies at the store or bakery. I bet none of the other moms will give him a bad time.

Now, go out there and start reducing that burdensome guilt!
 
Further Reading:
Podcast (always less than 10 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Work-Life Balance
—Creating Boundaries For You To Follow  or read it here.
 
Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Learn How To Say “No” Like You Mean It! —Get Rid Of The “Shoulds” And Say “No” Without Guilt!, or listen to it here.
 
Website, WomensMedia,  by Colette Carlson, A Four-Step Formula for Saying “No!”

 _________________________________________________________________

Tags: guilt, women, business, career, gender, differences

Money Facts You Should Know About The Gender Pay Gap 
 
Do women make less money? They sure do. Let’s gather our facts together here. We’re not even going to consider part-time work—that would make the gender pay gap look even bleaker! Comparing full time working women with full time working men, we find that the women are paid 80 cents (78 cents in some studies) for every dollar men are paid even in the same occupations. Are you content with this? Are you going to be a good girl and say, “Thank you for the diminished returns?” Are you going to say, “But what can I do? I need this job. I want them to like me.” Or, are you going to begin making sure this no longer happens to you? I see it as my privilege to tell you two strategies that have worked for women in our WomensMedia network.
 
Negotiation Is Part Of A Smart Game:  You Need To Ask, Ask, Ask.
First off, women aren’t asking for raises and other perks as often as men. Some studies show men ask 8 times as often for all sorts of things. Things you’d like to have—a bigger office, seminars, an assistant, an executive coach, heck, even a driver—well, maybe not all of those. I’ve talked about this in Women Need To Ask. And then on top of that, you’re not negotiating raises as often as men. When you’re given a raise, that’s the starting point for negotiations—that’s not “all they thought you were worth.”  Negotiating shows you have business savvy. Negotiating is a game you can learn to enjoy as much as the guys do. If you’d like a script to help you prepare to ask for a raise, see my post How To Ask For A Raise Even Though It’s Not The Perfect Time (It never is!).
 
Be That Woman Who Is Ready For A Promotion
Next, you need to make sure your boss doesn’t decide “She’s not quite ready to be promoted.”  This is happening to women in huge numbers. It doesn’t matter if your boss is a man or a woman, if you don’t sound confident in your review, you’re Not Quite Ready. I know you’re probably thinking during your review that you should be 100% honest about how you feel. That kind of honesty is doing you a disservice! The problem is men don’t think this way and you’re probably being compared against the male standard or compared with a male colleague. A guy is thinking, “I’ve got to sound 100% confident—no vulnerability here—I’ll find out how to do the job later.”  I’ve been advising women:  If you’re 80% confident, act as if you’re 100% confident, because you know you can ask questions and figure things out later.
 
I cover the other reasons for the gender pay gap:  The Pink Ghetto Thing, Working Mommies, and the Profit Thing in my post, 80 Cents For Each Dollar A Man Makes Is Not OK!
 
Good News—Follow California’s Lead!
There is promising news out of California that women’s wages are increasing and the gender pay gap is narrowing in that state. This gain is attributed to: 
 

• More women are moving into the financial services field which had been male-dominated,
  
• Many women are working in the healthcare industry which is seeing growth,
  
• And many women are beginning to speak up for what they know they’re worth.
  

My goal is to show you the facts, give you solutions, and let you change the business climate for yourself and other women.  Are you willing to work on this problem? If so, begin using the following two tips and mention them to other women. You can be part of the solution!
 
Tip #1:  Ask for a raise and then negotiate it up. While you’re at it, ask your boss to throw in something extra like, oh, let’s say that conference next month in a sunny location.
 
Tip #2:  Don’t allow yourself to look Not Quite Ready for a promotion. Act as if you’re 100% confident. You can use my quote as a mantra:
 
            Act confident and the world will take you at your estimation.
 
 
Further Reading:
 

Podcast (always less than 10 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Women Need To Ask At 3 Levels  —Learn To Ask And Appreciate or read it here.
 
Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, More Money? Do You Want To Ask For A Raise? —How To Ask For A Raise Even Though It’s Not The Perfect Time (It never is!)
 
Website, WomensMedia, by Evelyn Murphy, with E.J. Graff,  Gender Wage Gap: Are you paid as much as a man if he had your job?

 _________________________________________________________________

Save Time By Reducing Multitasking 
 
OK, so we can run on a treadmill, while reading our email . . . and talk on the phone at the same time. And if we see someone—at the edge of our peripheral vision—about to do something dangerous, we can take action. Somehow women evolved with a heightened ability to juggle attention. Personally, I think it was the pressing need on the Pleistocene plain to gather food and children at the same time.
 
As Martha Stewart might ask, “Is this a Good Thing?”  My answer is, “Not always.”  The American Psychological Association reports that new studies reveal the hidden costs of multitasking. There is a time loss when switching from one task to another, and the amount of time increases with the complexity of the task. If one of those tasks is fairly new, your time loss is much greater when you’re multitasking.
 
Not to be too nerdy here, your Brain CEO has executive control processes that come into play for each task. It has to allocate resources, such as brain cells, and setup priorities. For each aspect of your performance—perceiving, thinking, and acting—you have mental software that must come into supervised play. Wonder why you’re tired at night? Well, now you can tell others the techie reason that you’re exhausted.
 
Here’s where the curse part comes in. If you interrupt a man who is doing a task, oh, let’s say reading a budget report, adjusting a gasket, or operating the remote control, he’s going to look up very briefly with a pained expression and say, “Can’t you see I’m busy?”  Women, that’s what we should do more often. Instead, you know what we do:  We try to juggle one more thing, because of that Pleistocene history.
 
In the workplace, this often pulls us down. We end up splitting our attention between many tasks. We end up being the ones the boss imposes on with Just One More Thing. And we take it with the silent promise, “Just This One Time.” The scientific study shows we’re losing time—although maybe not as much time as a man would lose when multitasking—because refocusing is harder and he has to talk about how hard that is. Sorry guys, you know that’s true.
 
In the workplace, we’re being pulled down with some time loss and pulled down with the piling on of extra tasks. But the most important thing is we’re not being pushed up with focused attention on one big task that merits us high visibility. Who has time for that? The answer is:  A man with a closed door.
 
Now, here’s my Tip of the Week.
 
Tip:
 
Copy the boys on this one! You need to limit your multitasking. Trust me when I say you should designate specific times of the day when you’ll check your email, when you’ll answer your phone messages, and when you’ll check into others’ offices to catch up (also called Office Politics because it’s that important).
 
And what should you do when your boss gives you Just One More Thing? First, copy the boys on this one too: Flip-out and say, “Are you crazy?”  Is that too strong for you? OK, then say, “Oh no, I don’t have any time, should I put the IBM project (whatever is your boss’ favorite) down a notch?” Honest, if you start doing this, your boss will stop thinking that you’re one of those pushovers. And if you want to attain an executive image, you want to rid yourself of any pushover baggage.
 
Now get out there and make things easier for yourself! Limit your multitasking.
 
 
Further Reading:

Podcast (always less than 10 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, How You Can Handle Office Politics, Without Golf  —Women, Don’t Be Left Out Of Office Politics or read it here.
 
Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, What To Do When You’re Stereotyped —How To Cancel A Limiting Stereotype, Such As “Pushover”
 
Website, WomensMedia, by Dianne Schilling, Concentration: Getting Into Flow —Emotional Intelligence at Its Best
_________________________________________________________________