You Can Learn To Cope With Everyday Stress
 
 
Although the world is full of suffering,
it is also full of the overcoming of it.
—Helen Keller
 
 
Are you having a bad day? Having trouble coping with everyday stress? We all have those days, but when a particularly difficult one comes around, it’s good to look for guidance. First, identify the source of your stress. It can come from your body—your ancestors provided you with the fight or flight response so you wouldn’t become something’s meal. It can come from your environment—your job, your relationships, your politics, etc. Or it can come from your head—you know those thoughts: “My hair is a mess. This is going to be a bad day.”
 
At WomensMedia stress-related problems prompt many of the email requests from our readers. We like to give the following coping strategies to stressed out working women:
 

1. Relaxation
   It’s a physiological fact that one cannot be tense and relaxed at the same time. Being able to substitute a feeling of relaxation and well being for feelings of tenseness increases our effectiveness on the tasks at hand.
2. Breathing
   Proper breathing, which raises the oxygen level in the body, effectively reduces anxiety, fatigue, and depression. Shallow breathing contributes to feelings of tension. Do not force your breathing which can lead to hyperventilation.
3. Refuting illogical, irrational ideas
   Thinking that, because you do not know the answer to a question on a test, will cause you to fail the test, which will lead to failing the course, which will lead to failing out of the world, is illogical and anxiety producing.
4. Assertiveness
   Our interaction with others often leads to undesirable stress. Learning to be more assertive with others helps to reduce that stress.
5. Time management
   How we organize our time can either contribute to, or reduce our stress.
6. Maintain good nutrition
   Proper eating contributes to feelings of well being.
7. Exercise
   Physical activity is a good mechanism for getting rid of tension.
8. Recreational activities
   A good balance between work and play is desirable.
9. Change usual routines
   Doing the same thing day after day causes boredom and tension.

 
 
Tip:  Now, the next question that usually comes up is, “That’s good for everyday stress, but what about when a really difficult situation comes up?”  I like Dr. Melissa Clouthier’s advice for how to be a power player when adversity hits:
 

1. Keep the problem in context. Are you dead? No? It could be worse then.
2. Don’t generalize the problem. For example, a loser’s self-talk goes like this, “Oh you did it again! What a complete screw up. Why do you even try? Life isn’t fair.” You see this line of reasoning? How did you get from a missed putt to life sucks? A pessimist gets there in no time flat.
3. Use positive self-talk. “Okay, that was a mistake. A bad moment. Let’s get it back. More follow-through. Keep it lined up. Better. Better.” When you hear an athlete say, “We just had a bad day or bad break. Everyone has them. We’ll come back tomorrow.” You know that team is okay. How you frame the problem in your mind is very important. Overcomers keep it positive.
4. Forget being realistic. Realists don’t make bunker shots from 30 feet out in the rocks in One. They don’t. Raging optimists do. Every shot is possible. Realism is limited to the current atmosphere. Optimism allows for possibility. Realists hear that there is a “60% chance of dying with this cancer at this stage” and figure that they’re dead. Optimists think about the 40% who overcame. Dying isn’t an option.
5. Hang out with optimists. Don’t miss opportunities. Hang around the dreamers, builders, influencers. Their can-do spirit is infectious.

 
Take the stress quiz. Find out how well you’re handling stress!
 
Further Reading:
 
WomensMedia, by Dianne Schilling, Tips for Beating Stress
 
WomensMedia, by Carrie Silver-Stock, Help! My Job Is Draining Me
 
Coping Strategies, Temple University
 
WomensMedia, by Dianne Schilling, Stress: Emotions and Health
 
Blog, Dr. Melissa Clouthier, Get Over It:  Overcoming Adversity
 
Website, Stress Health Quiz  http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcsite.nsf/pages/quiz_manage_stress?OpenDocument
from the Better Health Channel, Australia
 
Book, Janet Luhrs, The Simple Living Guide: A Sourcebook for Less Stressful, More Joyful Living
 
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Tags: stress, managing, coping, working, women, overcoming, adversity