It’s Possible— If You Don’t Want To Spend Time On The Golf Course
 
 
You can’t deny relationships are easily forged on the golf course—and they usually involve only men. Does this necessitate a That’s Not Fair rant? Does this mean you need to take the golf lessons you’re dreading? Or does this mean you should pay close attention to a reasonable alterative solution?

I propose a reasonable alternative that’s worked for me and for other women.

Before I disclose it, let’s talk about why so many deals are made on the golf course. It’s because men open up and begin to enjoy themselves when they’re away from work. They can, for once, ignore the limiting hierarchy and discuss some non-business concerns—although not as many as women. The people they talk with outside the office, they consider friends. They can let down their guard and forget about protecting their turf. The golf course is not the only outlet that qualifies. It’s actually any get-together outside the office.

So, here’s the alternative:  Organize an out-of-the-office event. Be creative—what can you think of? A dinner? A charity fund-raiser? A number of women have organized golf/spa outings. I don’t think this is the best idea. If you elect the spa component along with the wives, you’re not out there chatting with the men. And if you’re the least bit, should I say “sexy,” you run the risk of  . . . backlash later. I don’t think I need to elaborate on this point. Not all women are immune to jealousy and worry. Alas!

Now what about if you’re already halfway through those golf lessons? If you’re not enjoying them, I say drop them. If you love them, go ahead, but remove any blinders. Even if you’re a decent golfer, have a good sense of humor, and the wives are not against you, you many not always fit in. It took a very pro-woman young man to explain to me that sometimes the guys just want to be with guys and do guy stuff! That hit the truth bell—and yah I didn’t want to admit it, at first.
 
Tip:
Here’s what worked for me. I organized Friday lunches. Each week I walked around and talked with each executive. I picked a different restaurant each time and I handled the reservations. Depending on the personalities of your entourage, you might want to also handle calculating the tip and dividing up equally what each will pay. You’ll probably find that men will tend to order more in this situation—the not being caught One-Down Syndrome plays in here—and have a better time.
 
 
Further Reading: 
 
Website, WomensMedia, by Martha Barletta, The Differences Between Men and Women
 
Website, WomensMedia, by Kathleen Kelley Reardon, Using Office Politics to Your Advantage
 
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Tags: business, women, office, politics