The She’s-Not-Important Stereotype
Don’t Let This Stereotype Stick To You
You can’t deny it, in a business environment, as you scan a room of new faces, you notice which are men and which are women. You can’t avoid this. Studies show that we have to decide which gender we’re looking at before we can do anything more. In the fraction of a second before logic sets in, your brain makes use of stereotypes stored there to make things easier for you. Sounds like a good thing? Not if that stereotype whispers to your brain, “She’s probably not important.” as you single out a woman. This certainly is an obstacle for women, but now that you know it, you can prepare ahead of time to deflect that stereotype as others scope you out and assess your worth from a first impression.
First off on that first impression, stand comfortably tall. Make eye contact and then smile. Be the first to extend your hand to shake hands, because men are sometimes confused as to whether we want to shake hands. Face the person directly—don’t angle away from them, this indicates a lack of power. Of course, you know to give a firm handshake and not one of those fingertip handshakes. You’re not a wimp—you’re important.
Now, what would you like to accomplish businesswise with this introduction? Are you proud of the position you currently have? Would you like to aim for something slightly higher and that’s why you’ve taken on an extra project? Here’s an example:
Hi, I’m Karen Johnston, Human Resources Specialist at G.E. I’m also interested in marketing so I’ve taken on a project in that area. And you are. . . ?
Would you like something in a different area? Well, work that into your introduction—ahead of time, while you’re still practicing. Here’s another example:
Hi, I’m Emily Harrison, Public Relations Assistant at HTC. I’ve been interested in marketing for quite some time, so I’ve been thinking of running a business in my off hours. Tell me about yourself.
You need to give the other person the information that, “Yes, you are an important person.” Think of it as the stripes on a military Captain’s uniform. Men want to know how many stripes you have! You also should plant the seed of what you’re aiming for. You never know who you’re going to run into who knows someone else who can help you. The important thing is not to ASK a person to do something for you. Let them think of what it might be and let them decide they want to help you. It’s a much better feeling for them and is not weighted with any sense of obligation to you.
Tip: Now I’m optimistic that women are at the tipping point. Soon—hopefully, that’s not in geologic terms—when men meet women in a business setting, they won’t let the She’s Probably Not Important stereotype pop up. Meanwhile, we have to work with this obstacle and one more double standard that I’m sad to say I must tell you: First Impressions Are Based On Achievement For Men—Appearance For Women. Lousy, itsn’t it? Well, along with your new introduction, use this information to your advantage. Be a little better groomed and dressed, and have a little better posture than the men and you’ll be off to a headstart. So, you know what that means for casual Fridays!
Further Reading:
Podcast (always less than 10 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Powerful Body Language For Working Women —Women, Change Your Body Language, Change Your Message
Podcast (always less than 10 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Learn How To Say “No” Like You Mean It —Get Rid Of The “Shoulds” And Say “No” Without Guilt!
Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, The Stereotyping Myth —Power or No Power Creates Stereotypes, Not Nature
Website, WomensMedia, by JoAnn Hines, First Impressions: How to Make the Most of the First 30 Seconds
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