By Stacey Hanke (Read about her here.)

 

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Um, what impression do you, like, get when you, um, hear someone using—you know, words that clutter their language? The adjectives knowledgeable, credible and confident probably don’t come to mind.

I know what you are thinking. “I don’t use the words ‘uh’ and ‘um’.”  Well, that may be true, but there are other words that can prevent you from getting to the point, including “actually,” “you know,” “and,” “so,” “but” and “however. On the other hand, if you never pause, you may instead ramble, take too long to get to the point and frustrate your listeners.

Many speakers use non-words to buy time while they decide what to say, but non-words can be distracting and can cause listeners to misinterpret your message. If you want to communicate with influence you need to replace non-words with a pause. Give your listeners time to hear and understand your message.

Five common reasons why speakers don’t pause:

1. Limited time

No matter how little time you have, it’s imperative that you give listeners time to digest what you’ve said.  If you don’t, they won’t understand your message.

2. Fear of interruptions

Most people interrupt when they’ve stopped listening to what the speaker is saying. All they are listening for is that moment when the speaker finally takes a breath, so they can jump in to add their own two cents or change the subject.

3. Fear of appearing unqualified or unprepared

Your listeners can only conclude that you are knowledgeable if you give them time to think.

4. Fear of losing your place

If you lose your place or forget what you were going to say, it could be because you are using non-words. Most people speak at a rate of about 125 words per minute, whereas they think at a rate of 500 words per minute. Your mind will work for you if you pause.

5. Discomfort with silence

If you fear silence, it is probably because of reason 1, 2, 3 or 4, above. The droning on of a nonstop speaker begins to sound like white noise. White noise lulls people to sleep. That is the silence you should really be afraid of.

Your resistance to pausing will quickly disappear when you begin to experience the benefits.

• Pausing gives listeners a chance to hear, understand and absorb your message. Pausing also invites listeners to share the conversation with you. You are able to adjust your message based on their needs and expectations.

• Pausing creates drama and heightens anticipation.

• Pausing allows you to collect your thoughts and breathe—to relax. Pausing helps you gain control of your message and appear comfortable with your listeners. You are able to communicate more information in less time because you are saying fewer words and giving yourself permission to think on your feet. Pausing allows you to prioritize your thoughts, avoid rambling and get to the point.

Pausing is appropriate in all settings: face-to-face conversations, meetings and group presentations.

• Pause after you ask a question.

• Pause when you want to emphasize a point or idea.

• Pause when you need to take time to gather your thoughts.

• Pause when you want to refer to your notes, PowerPoint slides or other visual aids.

Practice pausing until it becomes a habit.

• Speak in shorter sentences.

• Ask friends and coworkers to tell you when you use non-words. Their feedback will increase your awareness and help you create a new habit of being filler-word free.

• Write PAUSE! on a Post-it® note and display it prominently on your phone or computer.

• When using voicemail, replay your message before you press send so you can listen for pauses and non-words. Re-record the messages until you’re satisfied with what you hear.

• Practice using pauses when you are distributing handouts in meetings, referring to your notes during a face-to-face conversations or waiting for responses to questions.

• Incorporate the pause when you are interacting with visual aids. Avoid talking to charts, slides or the whiteboard; talk instead to your listeners.

In the words of Publilius Syrus, a Latin writer of maxims in the 1^st century B.C. …

“I have never regretted my silence, I have regretted my speech.”

Be sure to visit our site, WomensMedia to get Expert Advice for Business Women.

For quick updates for Business Women you should follow NancyFClark on twitter here, or StaceyHanke here.

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On our website, WomensMedia you should read this: Business Communication: 5 Tips for Building Your Authority

or this: Differences Between Men and Women: An Interview with Martha Barletta

It may help to listen to Gender Communication with Authority And Care —A Business Woman Can Be Careful Without Losing Her Authority
or read it here.

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How To Use The Web For Women In Business

by Sharon Michaels (Read about her here.)

(Listen to it here.)

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Based on my research and my own experience on the Internet, I believe this is the perfect time to develop a strong web presence.

Here are some statistics from http://techcrunchies.com

My target market is geared toward women in business. This is what I discovered:

• In 2009 the number of women online was estimated to be 103.7 million.

• In 2010 the number is projected to be 106.9 million.

Here’s what my research told me about these 103.7 million women and their participation on social media:

• Female participation in social networking: 75%

• Female participation in blog activity: 55%

• Female participation in message boards and forums: 40%

This is important information. It enabled me to focus my time and effort on those activities that strengthened my web presence and got me in front of my target market. I decided to write for those venues that would give me the greatest exposure to my target market – women in business.

So here’s what I did:

1. I began a blog with personal and professional success tips and how-to’s for women entrepreneurs.

2. I started becoming more active on Twitter and Facebook.

3. I began commenting on other people’s blog posts that were of interest to my target market.

4. I began writing articles for websites that appealed to my target market.

5. I began writing free Ezine articles for venues like SubmitYourArticle.com and EzineArticles.com

Here are some of the basics I learned about writing for the web, to ensure that my web presence was professional and interesting:

1. Be sure to include links to your website and/or blog.

2. It is easier when writing for your website or blog to write short paragraphs and to use bullet points and numbered lists when possible. White space is important because too many words in one paragraph will overwhelm the reader.

3. It’s important that your writing is interesting, timely, well written and to the point.

4. Use attention-grabbing headlines.

Taking all of this into consideration, and heeding the research regarding my target market, here’s how I decided to use my time:

1. I am active daily on Twitter and at least twice a week on Facebook.

2. I faithfully keep my blog updated with quality posts and information.

3. I send out a weekly Ezine of success tips and how-to’s to my subscriber list.

4. I write articles of interest about women doing business for article submission services.

5. I keep up with my emails at least twice a day.

My professional web presence is a huge part of my ongoing marketing plan. I have secured coaching clients, speaking engagements, writing assignments, radio interviews and even a few new friends. As with anything, it takes time to learn the skills you’ll need to develop a powerful web presence. Trust me, it is well worth your time, energy and effort. I’m reaching potential clients and customers all over the world. Even as recently as 10 years ago that would have involved expensive travel. Now, it involves a few minutes of my time, my laptop and an Internet connection.

How will you use the unlimited power of the Internet and web to market and grow your business?

Listen to today’s podcast here.

Be sure to visit our site, WomensMedia to get Expert Advice for Business Women.

On our website, WomensMedia you should read this:

20 Tips for Social Networking Using Facebook or

Top 15 Tips for Using Twitter or The Right Way to Promote Yourself Using Social Networking .

For quick updates for Business Women you should follow NancyFClark on twitter here, or SharonMichaels here.

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