by Nancy F Clark (Follow me on Twitter & Nancy Clark on Google Plus)
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There are a few things that all women seem to notice and all men don’t see at all. Alright, alright, I know I can’t say “all.” But it’s pretty nearly “all” whenever I speak to a large group of men and women and I ask this question: “Raise your hand if you’ve been in a meeting when a woman made a suggestion and no one seemed to notice?” Pretty nearly every woman will raise her hand and sadly nod her head—meaning it was her—and the men will be dumbfounded that this is the situation. Honestly women, we can’t blame men, because they aren’t even aware of this behavior.

Sociologists tell us this behavior begins when boys are 3 to 4 years old and are playing with other boys. They’re focused on competing with boys: Faster-Than-You, Stronger-Than-You, Louder-Than-You! They’re not focused on girls, and what the girls might be saying. Sounds like the alpha-male conditioning sets in pretty early, doesn’t it?

Well, I’m of the belief that in the workplace it doesn’t play out well for you to claim, “ Not fair. Not fair. Make him listen!” You can do that if you don’t mind being labeled The Trouble-Maker Who Should Be Avoided. I believe your best bet is to recognize that this happens frequently and that there are precautions you can take.

Look around your company and notice which men seem sympathetic to the obstacles working women have to dodge. Talk to one or more of them about being careful to notice when a woman’s comment is not noticed. Tell them how much their response will be appreciated. And when they pick up the ball, make sure it doesn’t go unnoticed!

Now, here’s your Tip of the Week.

Tip:

Plan ahead before you go into a meeting. Know what your key point will be. When you’re ready to speak, address your idea to one of the highest-level men in the room—you know that alpha-male thing again. Say, “Jim, I’ve been analyzing the X situation, and can see that we should do Y.” Trust me, when you say his name, you’ll get Jim’s full attention. I call this the Mommy-Caught-Me syndrome. You don’t have to say, “What do you think?” He’ll go ahead and comment. And anyway, if you say, “What do you think?” men interpret this to mean you don’t know if it’s a good idea and consequently, you need his help. Of course, we know that’s not what we mean. But part of successfully playing the game is knowing what others are thinking. It sure is a good thing we have that feminine advantage: Women’s Intuition!

Now, get out there and do the name-calling trick. See how well it works!

See a related article on WomensMedia, by Debra Meyerson, Gender in Business: When Women Are Not Heard

Be sure to visit our site, http://www.womensmedia.com/ to get Expert Advice for Business Women.

See our latest on Forbes

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Be sure to visit our site, www.WomensMedia.com to get Expert Advice for Working Women.

I’ve told you before, women don’t have it easy—it’s not a level playing field out there at work. Men do have it much easier, but that’s no reason to ignore their difficulties! In fact, ignoring their difficulties can cause a world of trouble for you!

(Listen to it here.)

Be sure to visit our site, www.WomensMedia.com to get Expert Advice for Working Women.

How widespread is this catfight problem? A recent study by the American Management Association found that 95% of the women felt other women had undermined them at some time in their career. It’s important to learn why this happens and how we can handle it!

(Listen to it here.)

Be sure to visit our site, www.WomensMedia.com to get Expert Advice for Working Women.

There are evolutionary reasons for how women handle competition and there are cultural reasons. Nancy Clark discusses both. Research shows that women tend to shy away from competition when men are included. Does that mean women are not as competitive as men? No, it doesn’t. It means we’re letting the stereotype, It’s Not Feminine To Be Competitive, influence our behavior.

(Listen to it here.)

Be sure to visit our site, www.WomensMedia.com to get Expert Advice for Working Women.

Ambition has two components: Master and the public recognition of it. Scientific research does not show any difference between ambition in boys and girls. But something happens as a girl becomes a woman. Public recognition becomes a no-no for women. And we buy it! We give it the Eww-Factor and say, “It doesn’t matter if anyone else knows how accomplished I am. It’s enough that I know.” Well in the workplace, that attitude will not get a woman promoted.

(Listen to it here.)

Be sure to visit our site, www.WomensMedia.com to get Expert Advice for Working Women.

Women are paid 80 cents for every dollar men are paid and that does NOT include any part-time workers! If it did, it would be even lower. What do you think is going on? Well, I’ll tell you the 4 things that are going on, and 4 things you can do to make sure this doesn’t happen to you.