See our latest on Forbes

by Nancy F Clark (Follow me on Twitter)
Partnering with Forbes: Thirty Women Entrepreneurs To Follow On Twitter

Sign up for the WomensMedia Newsletter. We make it easy!

 

 To Brag Or Not To Brag: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

It’s not bragging if you can back it up.
—Muhammad Ali

Ali can get away with bragging but we women can’t. We must walk a fine line between informative self-promotion and outright bragging. Most of us have been raised on the little girl admonitions, “It’s not nice to brag!” and “Who does she think she is?”  As long as these sayings are still playing in your mental background, you’ll feel uncomfortable when you know you’re bragging. And when you’re uncomfortable, other people focus on your discomfort. You don’t want that! The secret I can tell you is how to promote yourself just short of bragging. And that’s something you probably do want.

You need to self-promote—even if you’re not interviewing for a job. As you meet people they’re going to form split-second impressions of you. If you’re a woman, that may tend toward the sister, wife, mother, girlfriend, low-level employee, or helper images. Remember this and craft something in the beginning of a conversation that sets them in the right direction. I’ll tell you 2 simple ways to craft it in the tips of the week.

Meanwhile, for the guys who tell me they read this blog, women are not impressed the same way men are. For instance, men are often impressed when another man mentions his car by brand. Or, as I saw, a man left his Ferrari keys on the table during an entire dinner. For women, this type of display is too blatant. We don’t feel we should do it; we won’t allow other women to easily do it; and we see through it when men do it. You know, maybe we should ease up. Or not. On the other hand, women, if you’re talking only to men, you can take it up a notch without worry. Mention the private jet business trip you took, even if it was ages ago, and watch the men’s heads swivel around. Same thing with the 6-figure and 7-figure contracts your company is involved with. It will earn you respect. Just don’t try it with women.

Here’s my Women in Business Tip of the Week. Actually, there’s two this week!

Tip 1:
Rather than saying, “I have …,” or “I can do …,” the secret is finding an item in the conversation that relates to your accomplishment. Then start with something like, “I learned X when I was faced with a problem at IBM. I had to…”  Talking about what you learned or experienced keeps you just short of bragging—right where you want to be.

Tip 2:
You know how comfortable you feel when you’re telling someone about a memorable vacation you took? I want you to take a piece of paper, right now, and jot down a list of items from your life or career that are memorable, including a few that are impressive. I want you to craft what Peggy Klaus calls a “bragalogue.”  Pretend you’re writing a screenplay that only includes the good parts. OK, throw in a couple missteps to show your humility (we still are expected to be somewhat humble) and to show your sense of humor. This is now Your Story—a story you enjoy talking about.

Now, get out there and tell Your Story!

Be sure to visit our site, http://www.womensmedia.com/ to get Expert Advice for Business Women.

Website, WomensMedia, by Simon and Pedersen, Communicating With Men at Work

Be sure to visit our site, www.WomensMedia.com to get Expert Advice for Working Women.

See our related article: How to Get Out of Your Own Way —5 Strategies for Thinking Outside the Box

Enjoy Some Risk-Taking—It’s Good For Business

See our latest on Forbes

by Nancy F Clark (Follow me on Twitter)
Partnering with Forbes: Thirty Women Entrepreneurs To Follow On Twitter

Sign up for the WomensMedia Newsletter. We make it easy!

 

 Risk taking: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

It’s better to be boldly decisive and risk being wrong
than to agonize at length and be right too late.
—Marilyn Moats Kennedy

Much as I’d like to say the large-scale Hagberg survey shows all Good News for women in business, I can’t lie to you. I talked about the areas where women are doing well in my blog posting, Proof That Women Make Great Managers —Studies Show Areas Where Women Excel.

Where aren’t they doing well? Risk-taking. Some risk-taking can help a business tap new markets and surge ahead of the pack. Of course, sometimes there’s a good reason for avoiding risk. Risk aversion is an important talent if you’re herding children away from the edge of a cliff, for example. But business is a different story.

Are there women who take risks as well as the best of the men? Yep, and often you’ll find them at the head of companies. That tells you something.

The Hagberg study indicates that women—in a quest to be thorough—want all the data before making big decisions. This decision-making style, which may have helped a woman reach middle management, may discourage her from taking career-advancing, high-risk assignments. It may also discourage others from thinking of her as CEO material.

Taking risks and accepting the consequences is a required skill in corporate America’s top echelons. But hey, don’t despair. This is a skill that can be learned. Which brings me to my tip of the week.

Tip:  Nancy Clark’s 5 Steps of Risk-Taking

This tip is for you—unless you’re the type of woman who readily jumps on a motorcycle and has broken at least one arm and one leg doing something risky.

1.  Go with your gut.
Trust your instincts whenever you get the feeling that something could be a good business move.

2.  Give it the Pro & Con Test.
You know, draw a vertical line on a paper and quickly list the pluses and minuses to the move. Notice the word “quickly.” This is not a time for you to try for perfection. Tell yourself that no one is 100% right all the time and tell yourself that time is a valuable factor to consider in business.

3.  Move the bar up.
When you analyze your Pro & Con List, notice where you’d normally draw the line that causes you to say, “Nah, this is probably a No-Go.” What happens if you raise the bar 10%? 20%? If you’re normally a risk-averse person, better raise the bar 30%. All you need to do is decide what percentage is right for you.

4.  Gain buy-in from the right people.
Enlist the best people to work with you in implementing your idea.

5.  Handle the consequences professionally.
If you’re right, that’s a great business move. Handle your public relations and let others know of your success.

If you’re wrong, it’s not the end of the world. The end of the world would be if you did nothing. Formulate your statement along the lines of, “With hindsight being 20/20, I can now see that I overestimated sales to the X group.” or “I can see that the direction we should now head in is X.”

And start watching the guys! Yes, I said it. Watch when a guy lets a mistake slide off his back. At 5 pm it’s forgotten—and that’s a good model to follow!

Now get out there and learn to enjoy taking a few more risks!

Be sure to visit our site, www.WomensMedia.com to get Expert Advice for Working Women.

See our related article: How to Get Out of Your Own Way —5 Strategies for Thinking Outside the Box

See our latest on Forbes

Even Though Your Boss Says It’s Not The Perfect Time (It never is!)

See our latest on Forbes

Nancy F Clark  (Follow me on Twitter)

 

 Standard Podcast: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

You’d probably love it if your boss walked up to you today and said, “I’ve decided to give you a raise, effectively immediately.” Don’t hold your breath. No one wants to spend any more money than they have to. So, you’re going to have to ask for a raise. Here’s my advice on how to do this. First, do your homework on what you should expect in the way of compensation. Be sure to consult Internet salary websites, such as Salary.com or Salary Center on Monster.com.  In the U.S. women are paid 77 cents for every dollar men make.  If you set your sites on what men are paid and expect the same, you probably won’t be disappointed.  Don’t mention gender or need—keep the salary negotiation to what you bring to the business.

Make a list of your special skills and your accomplishments—especially recent ones.  Make an appointment with your boss to “talk about something of importance to you.”

And because I know this is a stressful time for you, I’ve included a script for you to have handy for a salary negotiation where your boss presents an obstacle.  Memorize it. You probably won’t have to recite it verbatim, but it will give you an extra boost of confidence to know you’ve got a script if you need it.

Tip: A Script for Stressful Times

I’m pleased to be working for this company, and I know the company is benefiting by my ___. (List 3 things, for example: client contacts, special project, marketing, etc.) I am looking for a salary of  __ dollars.

Now your boss presents an obstacle. (budget, timing, skills, etc.)

Have your individual X, Y, Z’s figured out ahead of time. Then, rather than dispute the obstacle, say,  “I understand your situation. The number I have in mind is X. The value I bring to the position is Y. And the benefit to the company will be Z.”

It’s up to you to read your boss, and at the same time, be fully confident you are deserving of this raise. If you truly believe you need to back down or accept a little less, set a time (3 mos., 6 mos.) when you can revisit this question about the salary you have in mind.

Further Reading:

See this related article on the WomensMedia site:
Gender Wage Gap: Are you paid as much as a man if he had your job?
by Evelyn Murphy with E.J. Graff

See our latest on Forbes

by Suzanne Doyle-Morris, PhD  (Read about her here.)

 

 Standard Podcast [6:37m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Sign up for the WomensMedia Newsletter. We make it easy!

As a woman in a male-dominated field, entertaining clients and building relationships through social contact are vital activities, though not always straightforward. For example, as an executive coach who specializes in working with professional women, I have yet to meet a woman who has the interest or time to take a client golfing, a long held networking tradition for men.

Women who want to develop relationships during office hours, through activities traditionally associated with male-dominated fields, such as drinking or at sporting events, are rare in my experience. Equally, women don’t tend to enjoy impromptu after-work drinks that go on late into the night. Most women can engage in after-work drinks now and again if given enough forewarning. However, impromptu get-togethers can be difficult for women with families, or even for women who just happen to value their own social lives and time away from work.

Maggie Berry, Director of womenintechnology.org, agrees. She indicated that, for her members, some of the key draws for her events were the focused attention on career development and the advance marketing that allowed women to plan to attend. She explained, “One of the comments I hear is that women can’t just spontaneously decide to go to the pub after work. They have different interests and responsibilities. If you know your team is going out on a Tuesday, you can plan around that. A woman can get the appropriate childcare and make transport arrangements ahead of time. Our members like to network, but like to set time aside specifically for it, rather than having to make themselves available all the time.”

If you avoid socializing completely, you will not be privy to political discussions, strengthening relationships or hearing about career opportunities that are almost always first discussed informally. Furthermore, you will send out the message that you are an outsider with no interest in becoming an insider. That being said, most women recognize that they need to make time to socialize with clients and colleagues on work trips or dinner out, which, while it has its obvious benefits, also has potential pitfalls. In addition to taking up what precious little time working women have, there is the danger of sending mixed messages to clients or colleagues—especially in settings where alcohol is involved.

This is a potential time to shine, as people promote those with whom they feel comfortable and who will make a good impression on their clients. Tread carefully, though, because if you get it wrong, you can backtrack your career considerably. Breakfast, lunch and coffee meetings are unlikely to be misconstrued, and have the additional advantage of being less likely to make you feel obliged to order alcohol with the meal. For example, you can invent a deadline back at the office if need be.

With dinner, you end the evening when you want to go home, which can be harder to negotiate your way out of if your dinner companions pressure you to stay. During the day, you can always say you have a meeting at the office, which is a more socially acceptable way of curtailing the evening than saying you just want to go home. So network please, but in a way that suits you, whether it be with groups that allow you to plan in advance or with meals at times that suit you. Just make sure you do it in a way that is respected, but can’t be misconstrued.

Be sure to visit our site, WomensMedia to get Expert Advice for Business Women.

Or on our website, WomensMedia you should read:

How to Succeed in a Male-Dominated Profession or

Business Women Can Play in the Boys’ Club or

Communicating With Men at Work .

For quick updates for Business Women you should follow NancyFClark on twitter here.

Sign up for the WomensMedia Newsletter. We make it easy!

Public Speaking For Business Women

by Suzanne Doyle-Morris (Read about her here.)

(Listen to it here.)

Sign up for the WomensMedia Newsletter. We make it easy!

Have you ever stayed up late or worked weekends on a report or project only to see the credit go to the person who presented it all? Well, that used to be me. I started to notice this tendency in college, and then in my first jobs and then again when I earned my Ph.D. at the University of Cambridge, looking at the experiences of women in male dominated fields. And eventually, rather than continue to be victimized, I realized I had to learn one of the key lessons that very successful women know (the lesson I want to talk to you about today) — and that is how to use public speaking to get ahead in your career.

While stereotypes abound about ‘the chatty woman,’ the truth is that it is mostly men who present at conferences, who chair meetings and who lead presentations. Nowhere is this more true than in fields that already suffer from a dearth of women. Speaking in public is one of the most common fears, and certainly one that can be debilitating to a burgeoning career. It can sound daunting initially, but you don’t have to start with speaking to an audience of thousands. In fact, most women begin to add public speaking to their careers by leading meetings and giving presentations.

Listen to today’s podcast here.

Or on our website, WomensMedia you should read:

Business Women Can Play in the Boys’ Club or Communicating With Men at Work

For quick updates for Business Women you should follow NancyFClark on twitter here.

Sign up for the WomensMedia Newsletter. We make it easy!

How To Cancel A Limiting Gender Stereotype

(Listen to it here.)

Be sure to visit our site, http://www.womensmedia.com/ to get Expert Advice for Business Women.

Sign up for the WomensMedia Newsletter. We make it easy!

Starting out in rocket science and computer technology, I was often the only woman in the room.

That’s another way of saying, the stereotype others had of me didn’t fit with the group, I was well aware of these assumptions.

I’ll bet you’ve had the feeling—at one time or another—that people have stuck a stereotype or label on you that made you out to be less than you are.

You may have felt like an outsider to their groups.

In their minds they could be thinking:

• She’s not important,
• She’s not educated,
• She’s not capable,
• She’s not assertive,
• it could even be, “Oh, she’s a mother.” and further questions might end right there.

You can see how this limits the opportunities a person is willing to offer you. In my Business Tip of the Week, I discuss how you can prepare ahead to cancel these negative, incorrect, stereotypes.

Listen to today’s podcast here.

Or on our website, WomensMedia, you may want to read What Keeps Women from Reaching the Top?

For quick business updates you should follow me on twitter here.

Sign up for the WomensMedia Newsletter. We make it easy!

Please see our updated article:  To Brag Or Not To Brag

Gender Pay Gap Is Real . . . Unfortunately

(Listen to it here.)

Be sure to visit our site, www.WomensMedia.com to get Expert Advice for Working Women.

Here are some of the questions about the gender pay gap that we’ve been receiving at WomensMedia. (N- add the numbers when posting)

If A Woman Chooses Full-Time Employment, Does She Earn The Same As A Man?

Do Women Earn Less Because They Work Less?

If A Woman Earns A College Degree, Does She Earn The Same As A Man With The Same Degree?

If A Woman Negotiates Her Salary, Will She Earn The Same As A Man?

If A Woman Moves Into A Typically Male Occupation, Does She Earn The Same As A Man?

You may be surprised to hear what research has shown.

Listen to Gender Pay Gap Is Real

Listen to The Gender Pay Gap Is Not OK

Let’s Make Sure The Glass Ceiling Stays In The Past

(Listen to it here.)

Finally, and dramatically, public perception has changed!

Five years ago, anyone could say, “ A woman or an African American man cannot be elected President,” and it would be assumed to be true. Now, even though Hillary Clinton did not win, we can picture either type of candidate having a viable chance in the future. Imagine the change: Race or gender no longer eliminates you from becoming President of the United States!

This perception is percolating down into our business world with the outstanding performance of a number of female CEO’s. We have seen that a woman can successfully grow a small company into a major player, such as Meg Whitman did with eBay. She formed a fledgling Internet idea into a company with revenue of 8.46 billion dollars a year. She now has her eye on another arena—politics.

The Rules are Changing

You no longer have to dress like a man or act like a man to reach upper management—the level that was forbidden by the glass ceiling. You can act in a style that’s comfortable to you as long as you show others they can have confidence in you. My Tip of the Week shows you how to do this.

 

 The Glass Ceiling Is History!: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

They’re Finally Ready For Us!

(Listen to it here.)

Be sure to visit our site, www.WomensMedia.com to get Expert Advice for Working Women.

What if you asked 2,250 adults across the U.S. who makes a better political leader, a man or a woman? And what if you divided leadership into 8 character traits?

Luckily for us, the Pew Research Center found the money and the people to fund a well-run survey asking these exact questions. What did they find? They found a paradox in our society.

 

 The Good News About Women And Leadership: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download