Sign up for the WomensMedia Newsletter. We make it easy!

1.  Imagine you’re on your deathbed – an unpleasant enough visual to catch your attention, as it should. It makes you think about the shortness of life and the importance of doing things that are important to you. If you knew you might die soon, say next year, what things would you want to quickly begin accomplishing? Think about various facets of your life and pinpoint the 3 most important items for each.

2.  Drop pessimism. I especially want to talk to you if you look at whatever’s unsatisfactory in your life, and say, “That’s the way it is. Things are bad. I’m just being realistic.” If you don’t drop the pessimism, you’re squandering chances of success. Admit it, people with an optimistic outlook go farther. Others want to be around them—others want to help them. They have a headstart. Hey, it’s an attitude. You can change an attitude. Studies have shown that when people are told to intentionally smile, even if they don’t feel like it, they start feeling happier. And, people react to them in a more pleasant manner. It’s a vicious cycle (in a good way): You force yourself to smile, you feel better, others smile back at you, they feel better, they turn and smile at someone else—or do someone a favor, who then passes the favor on. That’s a vicious cycle we should strive for. Adopt a new attitude—your new mantra is “I’m an optimist at heart.”  Now and then bad things happen, even to optimists. Reframe these things. They are now Challenges—and you’re up to the Challenge. Right? Right!

3.  Take up acting. You know, act as if . Who is the role model for the life you want to lead? How does she talk, dress, carry herself? Aim high. Assume this is a class project—and you expect to get an A+ for your efforts. It’s interesting, the thoughts that go through your mind before you take an action register strongly in your subconscious. In fact, scientists say your subconscious can’t distinguish between imagined actions and real actions. This explains how an athlete can improve her game by adding visualization sessions. So, visualize yourself acting in a new manner. Start strengthening those new, improved brain circuits!

4.  Meet new people. It’s stimulating to meet new people. Find out what they’re interested in—what they like to do. Tell them a little about yourself, but don’t hog the conversation. So often people are thinking about the next comment they want to make and consequently steer the conversation away from where the other person was headed. My Tip of the Week deals with this topic.

I’m frequently surprised that the impression I have of someone before I get to know them is way off base. Now, I try to give them a chance to change that first impression. I’m conditioning myself to not label people as Probably-An-Artist or Not-A-Serious-Business-Person before I give them a speaking chance. Who knows, they could be both! (I am.)

5.  Take baby steps at first. Sometimes we avoid going after a goal because it seems like such a big deal to undertake. This is one of the reasons we often procrastinate, saying, “I’m not quite ready to do that. I’m sure I will be soon.”  What if you decided to start right now, but with the intention to only do a teeny, tiny bit—only take a baby step? It might be to do an Internet search. This might give you the incentive to take one more baby step—maybe make a phone call. Those are easily doable, right? Each day that you find yourself leaning toward procrastination, take one more baby step.

My Business Tip of the Week deals with Meeting New People.

Here it is.

Business Tip of the Week:

I advise women in business to set a goal of meeting new people who could help them in business. You set the number. For instance, you could decide you want to meet 1 new person each month who could accelerate your business. If it’s a client you’re thinking about, perhaps 1 a week would be your goal.

There’s one more goal you could consider. How about setting your sites on someone who is living the business life you aspire to? You’d be surprised how often a high-level person is willing to impart advice to someone who admires them. Try it!

Be sure to visit our site, www.WomensMedia.com to get Expert Advice for Working Women.

Sign up for the WomensMedia Newsletter. We make it easy!

Website, WomensMedia, by Caroline Jalango, How To Motivate Yourself Toward A Worthwhile Goal

Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Time Management & Procrastination —Tackling Procrastination Is A Time Management Tool That Works!or listen to it here.

Podcast (always about 5 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, Organizing Your Desk For Time Management Results —Spending Time On Organization Is Time Well Spent!

Website, WomensMedia, by Lynea Corson-Hadley, Design Your Own Business Or Job
If you feel stuck in a job or career that doesn’t suit you, if you’re not happy and excited about going to work each day, maybe it’s time to make a change — because it doesn’t have to be that way.

by Nancy F. Clark (Follow her on Twitter)
Named one of Forbes: Thirty Women Entrepreneurs To Follow On Twitter

Sign up for the WomensMedia Newsletter. We make it easy!

If you’ve suspected that happy people get better work evaluations and higher pay, then you’re right. A 15-year study in Australia showed this is true. Happiness has wide ranging effects. According to Professor Martin Seligman (author of Authentic Happiness), “…it turns out that adults and children who are put into a good mood select higher goals, perform better, and persist longer on a variety of laboratory tasks, such as solving anagrams.” Ah, that means happiness improves motivation as well. More Good News.

Did you ever expect to hear the words “scientific” and “happiness” in the same sentence? I didn’t, but now I’m happy about it.

Recent scientific reports show your happiness level is something that can be increased with a minimum amount of effort. Don’t you want to be happier? Don’t you think others like to be around happy people? Professor Sonja Lyubomirsky of the University of California (author of The How of Happiness) has conducted happiness research with thousands of men and women. The Good News is that a full 40% of your happiness level is completely within your control. You may have received Unhappy Genes and suffered Unfortunate Life Circumstances, but you still get a clean 40% at your command. And the tasks you can do are surprisingly easy.

Before I talk about these tasks, let’s get the 3 Big Happiness Myths out of the way.

Myth #1: Happiness is something that you find, like Shangri-la. This is not true, so don’t wait around for this magical occurrence.

Myth #2: Our circumstances determine our happiness. This is not true, so don’t think, “IF only this would happen, THEN I’d be happy.” I think this is a trap everyone falls into at some time.

Myth #3: You either have it or you don’t. Not true either. I’ve already told you’ve got 40% to develop. You can make improvements.

Let’s get to the 12 tasks that Professor Lyubomirsky says will help you. She has an instant aversion to overly sweet sounding ideas, as I do. But, when she pushed herself to write gratitude letters to colleagues, she was surprised with the positive effect on others and on herself. So give yourself a little push. These are simple tasks. You don’t need to try all 12 of them. You could start out by selecting 4 that sound most appealing to you. Later, you can get around to other 8 and astound yourself with the results. Let me know about these astounding results. While you’re at it, get a copy of The How of Happiness and take its personal inventory and recommendations.

Here are the 12 simple tasks.

1. Express gratitude — You can tell others or you can write down 5 every evening for a week.
2. Cultivate optimism — Keep a journal of Your Best Possible Future. I’ll talk more about this in my Tip of the Week.
3. Avoid overthinking and social comparison — Cut down on how often you rethink your problems and compare yourself to others. Cut down on thoughts, such as, “I wish I wouldn’t have said that! I should have said …”
4. Practice acts of kindness — This is one of those overly sweet sounding ideas that I’m surprised I’ve become addicted to doing at least once a day. And scientists now have proof that “pay it forward” is something that usually happens. It’s saccharine, but true. I agree with Robert Wright (author of Non-Zero, another book you should get) that altruism is built into our genes. It’s helped our survival. As Martha Stewart would say, “It’s a good thing.”  Nah, I can’t get that sweet.
5. Nurture relationships — Spend time and energy in cultivating and enjoying a relationship, or healing an ailing relationship.
6. Develop strategies for coping — Practice ways to handle or get over stress, hardship, or trauma.
7. Learn to forgive — Write a letter in which you try to let go of anger or resentment of someone. It is necessary to write it, but not necessary to mail it.
8. Do more activities that truly engage you — I call these “flow activities” that you find challenging and absorbing. You know you’re in flow when you lose track of time. If you’re interested in this topic, you absolutely have to read the book Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Professor Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.
9. Savor life’s joys — Pay close attention and replay life’s momentary pleasures and wonders, through thinking, writing, drawing, or sharing with another.
10. Commit to your goals — Pick one, or several of your goals and devote time and effort to pursuing them.
11. Practice religion and spirituality — Devote thought and energy to whichever form is comfortable for you.
12. Take care of your body — Engage in physical activity, meditating, smiling, and laughing.

So, pick your Top 4 and devote attention to them. Later, pick up the other 8 and see how high you can raise your Happiness Level. Who could object to that?

My Business Tip of the Week deals with Task #2 Cultivating Optimism.

Here it is.

Business Tip of the Week:

This will not take much of your time. It will take 20 minutes tonight and 20 minutes for each of the next 3 nights. Research at two universities (by Professor Sonja Lyubomirsky, and by Professor Laura King) has shown this small investment of time can make a significant difference in your life.

Select a blank notebook and begin writing a journal of Your Best Possible Future. Be sure to cover each area of your life—I mean, your future life. Picture yourself in the future, after everything has gone as well as it could. You’ve worked hard and accomplished your life goals. For instance, Julie Anne could say, “I can imagine myself married with 2 children, working in the Internet field, spending summer vacations in Montana with my family, meditating and exercising on a regular schedule, planning social outings, organizing art exhibitions, and performing the saxophone with The Big Sky Cowgirls.”

Remember, scientists have shown us we can increase our happiness, optimism, and our motivation. Spending 4 nights on this exercise will make a difference, and devoting another night, maybe once a month, will improve it even more. How much of an improvement in Your Best Possible Future do you want to see? Make it happen. It’s within your control!

Be sure to visit our site, www.WomensMedia.com to get Expert Advice for Working Women.

Website, WomensMedia, by Gretchen Rubin, 10 Tips from Gretchen Rubin on How to Be Happy at Work

Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Balancing Work, Family, Friends And More —Consider 8 Aspects In Your Work-Life Balance or listen to it here.

Podcast (always about 5 minutes), Working in Heels, by Nancy Clark, The Good News About Women And Leadership —Here’s Something to be Happy About!

Blog, Women’s Lunch Talk, by Nancy Clark, Reduce Stress With Mindfulness —One Minute of Focus Is A Minute Well Spent or listen to it here.

Website, WomensMedia, by Sarita Maybin, How to Stay Positive in a Negative Workplace.

(Listen to it here.)

Be sure to visit our site, www.WomensMedia.com to get Expert Advice for Working Women.

Sometimes we need help getting motivated. Today I’m giving you 5 easy steps. Step #1 requires you to Imagine you’re on your deathbed – an unpleasant enough visual to catch your attention, as it should. It makes you think about the shortness of life and the importance of doing things that are important to you. If you knew you might die soon, say next year, what things would you want to quickly begin accomplishing? Think about various facets of your life and pinpoint the 3 most important items for each.

Tune in to see the other 4 steps guaranteed to get you moving in a positive direction!

Listen to How To Get Motivated