Clothing telegraphs to the world not just who you think you are, but who you want to be.
Don’t see yourself as a victim of the system just because you probably feel more pull between work and family than most men feel. Don’t accept the role of the passive, put-upon person.
Working women should stop saying, “It’s not fair,” or “I deserve more,” or “They should recognize me.” No one gives power away. You only get power if you usurp it. People take power. In history books you don’t read about people sitting around waiting for power to be given to them.
Women have two choices: structure our world around our own choices, or let someone else make the choices for us.
Hope is the worst word in the game. Hope allows us to believe we’re taking action when, in reality, we’re taking no action at all.
Don’t ignore the women’s team. Why? Because every time any woman succeeds in business, your chances of succeeding in business increase. Women aren’t playing on the same field with each other right now. We don’t support each other enough. We don’t rainmake for each other. We act as though we were a minority at work (we’re almost half the workforce) with no hope of ever changing that situation (which isn’t true at all).
Don’t stop helping deserving guys, but be willing to take care of other women. The boys are doing a great job of taking care of themselves already.
Never approach the team leader with only a complaint. Have a solution handy as well.
Pick your goal. Say it aloud to yourself. “I could manage this department. I would do an excellent job.”
Your co-workers are not your family. You don’t pick them and it doesn’t matter who you like or dislike. It may be unpleasant, but you simply have to work with them. You have to be more strategic, listen more, and protect yourself. These are good skills to hone.
Lunch is part of work. Arrange lunches with women from different departments. It’s good for business. It’s how you begin to create your own equivalent of a golf foursome.
Consider transferring to a different department as part of your game plan. A major reason men cite for not promoting women is their lack of significant experience outside their own area of expertise. If you want to play really smart, make sure you get experience with generating profits for the company.
Learn to sell yourself. Most women spend a lifetime hoping to get noticed. Watch the typical guy on the bench waiting to play. His every movement says, “Come on, coach, I can do it.”
Assume you will be successful. I learned long ago that if the quarterback hands you the ball, you don’t wonder if you’re going to make the touchdown. You assume you will. Instead of spending your day saying, “Why?” learn to spend it saying “Why not?”
Speak from the land of authority and power. Men will tell you that women are too timid when they talk at the office, too evasive, too circuitous, or too unsure of themselves. Stop speaking from the land of no-permission.
Boys exaggerate, they boast, they brag. It’s the same with business. The woman who gets noticed is the one who makes sure that her bosses know how good her work is.
You are who you say you are. Make it important. You will do well only if you make your decisions from a position of power rather than a position of weakness.
Don’t second guess the team. Once a team decision has been made, it’s time to move on. There is no move called Pause, or Stop and Think About It, or, worse, Second Guess.
Keep in mind that your job is only a part of who you are. If you insist on being close friends with co-workers, you may soon have a lot of ex-friends—and an ex-job.
Don’t anguish; wear your game face. Even when the odds are against them, guys will try to look as if they’re gong to win. And who knows, maybe they will.
Don’t show your vulnerability. The guy in the next cubicle isn’t Daddy. Someday he could use it against you. That may be unfair, but that’s business.
Laughing creates camaraderie. Even if you can’t tell a funny story, let your associates know you appreciate theirs.
Men perceive a show of anger as out of character for a woman. They judge it as a loss of control and it’s almost always perceived negatively for a woman. However, as I’ve accumulated more power, I’ve realized that there are times when a careful dose of yelling is appropriate.
Guilt does not exist on the men’s game field. As long as they play by the rules, the guys don’t feel guilty because they won, or because they ran over the opposition. They keep their focus on the game and the game alone.
A fight is part of the game of a man. One of you wins, one of you loses, and then the winner buys the loser a drink. You have to leave your opponent breathing, so you can play again.
“Mommy track” does not mean you’re thrown off the game board. In other words, you don’t get just one turn on the game board; your career can be sequential as easily as it can be simultaneous.
Women are lucky. We can be comfortable having discussions of a personal nature with men while doing business. This doesn’t mean the men think we’re not savvy or astute. They understand that besides being business associates, we’re also real women who can take a genuine interest in their wives, their families, and the problems that they don’t discuss with other men.
Be a woman. Use every one of your natural traits. Use your win-win attitude about life to make everyone feel like a valued member of the team. Use your social skills—acknowledge the receptionist’s new hairstyle. Most of all, use your intuition: notice body language, voice tone, words and subtext. Intuition is one of the most powerful tools women have in business—and we own that market.
